Thursday, September 22, 2011

Clients are nice after all


I wanted to talk about a more positive story about prostitution. This is a story in the Dutch magazine Vriendin (nr. 26, June 29 until July 5, 2011). It is in the section "hartsverhaal".
Gaby tells she is an accident. Her parents were 40 years old when she was born and they already had a daughter aged 10. She didn't really fit into the family. They were three beautiful successful people. As a child she was the ugly duckling. Her mother never wanted her. She had the feeling that her father and mother and her sister were already complete without her. Her father was a pilot. He was very kind to her, but he often travelled the whole world. It was wonderful when he came back from a flight. Then all kinds of friends of all sizes and shapes came at their house. There were parties and they often went to the theatre. There was enough money. But they never went to a fair or to a zoo, things that children of her age liked.
Her sister Loes was 10 years older than her. She was beautiful and cosy. Everybody wanted to be with her. She was often away. She went working at a very young age, had boyfriends and she smoked. Gaby found it very exciting. When she was 10 years old her parents divorced. Her father met a woman during one of his travels and went to live in South America. She went to live with her mother and her sister with her boyfriend. She missed Loes and was jealous at her. She was abandoned by her mother. During puberty she had many problems at school. She smoked dope and stole things.
Gaby walked away from home when she was 16 years old. She went to her sister's place. Her sister told her to go home. She lived in the squatters' scene for a while where she met many open-minded and friendly people. She had a lot of sex with different persons. She found comfort in that. She long felt insecure about her appearance, she found it lovely that all those men now fell for her. She never had a fixed boyfriend. She often cheated on them, having sex with other persons. A boyfriend smashed her up completely after he found out she had sex with another person. She fled to her sister again. She tried again with her sister, while she still bled. This time her sister let her into her house. Her sister told her that if she liked sex so much she should work in prostitution. Her sister would help her with that. It turned out that her beautiful successful sister was working on De Wallen for years. Behind the windows she earned her money.
She was shocked. She found it very scary, but also very intriguing. That night she went to sleep at her sister's place. Her sister told her everything about her work and the money that she earned with it. She was very sensitive to the attention she got from her sister. Her sister who didn't give attention to her for years now wanted to shop with her. She bought lingerie for her. She went to a beautician with her.
Gaby was only 17 when she entered prostitution. She was probably the youngest prostitute in the red light district. She was never checked by the police. The first man who knocked at her window she didn't like at all. She found him old and dirty. She also rejected the next two guys. Then the prostitute who worked next to her came by. She offered Gaby to do a trio. She learned Gaby how to deal with men. Gaby was perplexed. That man had nothing to say. Her neighbour was completely in charge and treated him in a very childish manner. That probably was the way in prostitution. Her sister and Gaby stood opposite each other on De Wallen. She found it very funny. Her sister always was a little lady. It was funny to also see her vulgar side.
She always enjoyed her work. Nobody forced her. A small part of the money she took home. The rest was put by her sister on a Swiss bank account. Actually it went very well with her during that time. She didn't drink and didn't use drugs. And she has learned a lot about men. The most ugly guys were the kindest in bed. After three years she stopped working in prostitution. That was 25 years ago. Her sister gave her the account. 20,000 guilders was on it when she stopped. Well, I must say that her sister must have taken the majority of it. But I believe she doesn't realise that.
I find this story funny. I believe nowadays her sister would be charged with human trafficking. But Gaby doesn't realise that she was exploited. Still, she finds the period in life when she worked in prostitution a beautiful period. And ugly guys are friendly.

There is another story like this. It's in the magazine S-work especially created by the Red Thread in 2011. A 32-year-old Romanian woman was lured under a false promise to the Netherlands when she was 20. She fell into the hands of the human trafficker, he maltreated and threatened her and forced her into prostitution. She finally managed to escape after many months. She got help from an agency during the following five years, she tried to settle down by learning the language, building up a social network, and doing volunteer work. But she still felt depressed and insecure. She didn't understand why she still was unhappy. She realised that her environment still saw her as the victim of human trafficking.
Through her volunteer work she knew a few women who entered the business voluntarily. They were very open about it saw it as an ordinary job. Then she decided to start working in prostitution again, but now on her own accord. She said it was very weird, but from the very first client it felt like something completely new. In the club where she worked, she could determine her own schedule and clients. Pretty soon she noticed that she began to see the people around her very differently. Men were no longer dirty and she had a good time with her colleagues. Her confidence started to grow, and she got to know herself in a new and better away. It was very therapeutic for her.
The reactions by other people were very negative. Why on earth she had gone back to the sex business. After everything she's been through? Not only because of the awful memories, but also because of her status. She was the victim of human trafficking and that's how people kept seeing her. She had been rescued, and this is how she handled her rescue? They couldn't understand it. She believes the social workers found it difficult to accept that she didn't want to be a victim anymore. She felt it like a relief that she had taken control of her own life and had chosen this profession, but for them this move was incomprehensible. Some even let her know that she was ungrateful, and that they felt deceived by her.
She wanted to take her own decisions and organise her life the way she wanted it. And it worked! She came back into the light, she no longer felt down and depressed, and she started to enjoy life again. After two years she got out of the sex trade. Her advice to victims of human trafficking is that they should stop feeling a victim, but they have to be strong and that they have talents and that they have to use those talents to try and rebuild their lives, to find themselves again, and in that way can be happy. She wishes them all the best.

Well, perhaps the lesson for me is that clients of prostitutes aren't those beasts after all. That's very comforting for me. I have behaved like a beast last month. I ran into two young Romanian women. I had a very good time with them. But in my belief they are almost surely victims of human trafficking. Surely enough there are enough older prostitutes on the Zandpad. But I don't get excited by them. The Romanian women seemed completely sane. With one of them I even discussed about relationships. She asked me if I have a girlfriend. I said I didn't. She explained many clients simply don't want to have a girlfriend, they want to be single. Obviously I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She didn't have one, because she didn't want to have a boyfriend with this kind of work. But perhaps later on in life she will find a boyfriend , and she assured me that I will find a beautiful woman later on in life.

1 comment:

Alex said...

Romania is a mafia state with not working administration governed by organized crime.

Human trafficking in Romania is a state policy and a modern retail which feed corruption and organized crime. Organized crime is constantly looking for legitimate business that could be used as a cover.Behind such companies, actually hiding network specializing in recruitment of girls who end up prostitute.

These companies are used as a mask, to support illegal activities, to wash the money, but also because leaders mobs to be seen as successful entrepreneurs.

Besides these companies, strongly related with them, in the town of Curtea de Arges (Romania) exist more mafia groups(indestructible mafia groups) which with the complicity of local taxi drivers, recruit, transport, and place girls to practice prostitution, girls which later are trafficked external.

According to data held by the Italian authorities in Roma: 85% of prostitutes in Rome are romanian woman. In Milano: eight of ten prostitutes which practice “job” in Milano are romanian woman including Ioana Visan, Berlusconi's hooker from Curtea de Arges (Curtea de Arges, pimps factory from Romania, manager: local corrupt police) arrived in Italy by prostitution networks from Curtea de Arges