Monday, August 23, 2010

Review: Linda

Main

Lately a book came out called Wie is er bang voor Linda - bekentenissen van een SM-meesteres [Linda - confessions of a dominatrix] written by Linda and Ruth Kolba (2010).

It is a very sad story. Hopefully, an exception within the world of prostitution.

She is a jewish woman born in 1969. She started working in the sex industry at age fourteen (so that must have been around 1983-1984). She actually came from a rich family. But it was a broken family. Father was not there, mother was not nice to her, and her aunt and uncle were rich and made sure they got all they needed. She lived in a very protected environment. Her sister also worked in prostitution starting very young, she was a heroin addict who later in life unfortunately became infected with HIV.

Linda at first worked in window prostitution, and much later also in several clubs. In the clubs she started to do SM, which gradually became her speciality. She later started to work in window prostitution again, and after this, in her own home.

To me it is always interesting when I buy a book written by a prostitute, what the prostitute tells about the world she lives in. For some strange reason I always hope that they will tell negative stories. Perhaps because in my mind women are innocent or sacred, and cannot possibly like sex. I'm a real hypocrite now, because I visit prostitutes again nowadays.

And yes, my sad wishes are confirmed, Linda confirms all the horrible stereotypes about Dutch brothels and Dutch prostitutes. First of all (page 14) she confirms what has been said often by prostitutes, that (translated from Dutch) "when you are behind a window as a new girl, you are immediately approached by pimps. They think something like: 'Hey, that is a beautiful girl. That one should work for me.' This approaching goes in a nice way. Not what you would expect. They want to take you home, tell jokes, give you presents, and more of these things. That's how it begins. A pimp infiltrates in your life in a very shrewd way. They make you dependent. They help you with little things. Until you cannot do without them anymore.'

She has worked in several clubs (all before 1999, after which she started to work behind windows again). She names the Satyricon in Amsterdam (owned at that time by Willem Holleeder and Cor van Hout, later it became the Club Mayfair), the Princess and the Yab Yum (owned by Theo Heuft at first, then by the Hells Angels, and then it was shut down). She also confirms that there is an excessive use of cocaine in clubs (page 79): "Also at the Princess you couldn't work when you didn't sniff [coke]. It could, but then you didn't earn anything, then nobody went upstairs with you. Also here the manager sold coke from behind the bar. Or there was a house dealer. So those blokes earned double on the girls. On average per evening you bought two to four grams of coke. Simply for the full price. It was really a beastly mess."

About the Satyricon she tells that (page 57): "regularly we were so sniffed up [by coke] that we didn't want to leave the dressing-room anymore. Then we sat there with all these girls. The manager called: 'Come on ladies, now to work. There is a client.' We couldn't stop laughing."

About the Satyricon again (page 69-70): "During these evenings I was always totally under influence. When I close my eyes this period is like a dream. Everything evolved around using drugs. I stood up during the afternoon and already rolled my first joint so to speak. During the evening I sniffed one line of coke after another. That had to be, or else you weren't allowed to work in the Satyricon. The manager sold it himself. You hade to use coke together with the client. That was an unwritten rule. I remember that girls who didn't want to sniff [coke] were forced to leave within no time. Also in other clubs this is commonplace. All these girls had to sniff coke, else you can't keep up [doing this work]. Only in the Yab Yum coke above the counter wasn't allowed."

At one point (before she worked in clubs), she was out of prostitution for a period of time, when she stopped using coke, and then returned to working behind windows (that must have been around mid nineties). She tells (page 53): "That first time behind a window again, what a feeling. I'll never forget it. My first client was a true nightmare. A dirty and completely drunk guy. As if it couldn't get any worse, the condom also ripped apart. A terrible experience. I hadn't been doing this for over ten years. At one blow I was back in my old life: panick, nerves, pimps who approached me. That particular evening I used coke for the first time in a long time. That's how it goes in this world. It is expected from you that you join in with a couple of lines [of coke]."

So, these are very nasty stories. But I knew that already. It is also confirmed in this post on my blog. Even Jo Doezema tells about the heavy drug use in clubs, that there were more drug addicts in sex clubs than in street prostitution, and that clubs were really just fronts for drug trafficking.

But, maybe the situation has changed for the better now. This reports gives a more positive image:
De sociale positie van prostituees 2006 (Dekker, H., Tap, R., Homburg, G., WODC, Regioplan Beleidsonderzoek, 2006)

If you look at table 5.1 (page 47), it turns out that 5% of the prostitutes use hard drugs. Prostitutes in clubs and privéhuizen use more often. Prostitutes in window prostitution, escort and massage parlour use less. There's another website which shows how many children aged 12-19 regularly use hard drugs:
Druggebruik, hoeveel mensen gebruiken drugs? (nationaal kompas volksgezondheid).
That percentage is 2.3% for boys, and 1.3% for girls. The prostitutes are above that. But in my opinion, this is not dramatic. Actually, the level of drug use by prostitutes look like those of people in special groups. Like people who visit cafés or trendy clubs. Look at table 3.3 (page 67) of this report about coke use:
Nationale drugsmonitor - jaarbericht 2009 (Trimbos-instituut, Utrecht, 2010)

It is like, 14% of visitors of trendy clubs who regularly use coke, 12% of visitors of festivals, 6% of visitors of the catering industry, etc..... So the prostitutes really don't stand out!

Perhaps it is really getting better in the Dutch sex industry. Or it is getting worse in the rest of society.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Is it getting better? At least in Belgium it seems

There is a bit of an information vacuum last months about prostitution in the Netherlands, especially regarding forced prostitution. I hope this signals a drop in the number of cases. But fortunately, there is some news from Belgium, and Belgium is very closeby, so perhaps this tells us something about the Netherlands. And it indeed seems to be the case that the relationship between prostitutes and the ones who escort them seems to be getting better, less violence, more money for the prostitutes, etc....... I hope this situation will improve further. I will show some links to reports about prostitution in Belgium, and give some Dutch to English translated quotes (I hope I will not provoke the ire of Ruth Hopkins again!). The articles are mainly about Het Schipperskwartier, a red light district in Antwerp which has recently been modernized. The prostitution neighbourhood was made smaller, so many windows had to relocate to three streets only. The window brothels are now also better and cleaner.

Achter de schermen in het Antwerpse Schipperskwartier (De Standaard, September 19 2009, Ruth Hopkins)
Patsy Sörensen, sees from her little office in de Leguit, lying right next to the prostitution triangle, the Balkan men appear in the district. "In the past it was a mess. Now the women work under much better circumstances, especially considering hygiene. But that is a wafer-thin top layer. I know what's going on underneath that. Bulgarian, Turkish, Albanian and Hungarian men come here to put their women to work. Their methods have changed. They don't batter the women, it is much more ingenious. They give the women just enough money so that they keep on working and keep on thinking that they are independent."

"Well, can you call it human trafficking then," wonders Jef Swartelé, investigator at the Federale Politie [Federal Police]. "I know the types to whom Sörensen refers to, but the Bulgarian women who come here, do they work involuntarily? Yes, they cede more than half of their income. That is not fair, but is it also criminal? Human trafficking is hard to proof."

(...)

The federal police reports that they try to track down possible pimps. On average forty investigations are running at this moment into human trafficking in the sex industry in the city of Antwerpen.

A large segment of these forty investigations aim at Bulgarian, Albanian and Romanian men who establish themselves in the city. They help 'girlfriends' with finding a window, bring them and collect them from and to work, to subsequently play card aimlessly in the many little cafes in the neighbourhood. "Those men profit from the work of the women. Indeed, like Sörensen notices correctly, the methods are sophisticated, the exploitation is more subtle. But we can do very little if the criminal law hasn't been violated and so at least legally there is no human trafficking," says Swartelé. "The Matroesjka [Belgian TV-series about forced prostitution] stories that you hear and see on tv: so bad it is not in the neighbourhood." Anna Vercauteren, coordinator of the health house for prostitutes Gh@pro, agrees with this analysis. "The image must be nuanced. Not every woman who works her, is forced. We know that some women work under a pimp and we often ask ourselves questions about certain situations, but we actually don't get many signals of exploitation and threats."
Several other highlights from the same article above: a male-to-female transsexual who was forced to work by women (!), and a prostitute who complains that business is slack because of the negative news about human trafficking which causes men not to visit prostitutes. Same is happening in the Netherlands! Business is slack!

Patsy Sörensen: "De pooiers doen weer waar ze zin in hebben" (November 4 2008, gva.be)
"I see these men here every day: Turks, Albanians, Russians, Romanians, you name it", says Sörensen. According to her Antwerp uses their local agents - "the eyes and ears of the policy" - too little in the battle against illegal prostitution. According to the former Agalev-politician the prostitutes have documents which are or seem to be in order, and so one concludes that everything is in order. "But there is a system behind it. Girls who come here, are at work for a couple of months and then disappear without a trace, to another city, or another country."

Gentlemen's suits

"Pimps play it differently now. They don't walk in jogging suits anymore but in gentlemen's suits. They are polite and friendly. They are business men who are coincidentally active in the sex branche", so says Sörensen. She now is active as an expert for a working group against human trafficking of the European Commission.
Patsy Sörensen: 'Prostituees dachten dat ze in een sprookje zaten' (Het Nieuwsblad, July 31 2008)

http://marcverhaegen.blogspot.com/2007/11/patsy-sorensen-over-loverboys-de.html

Prostitution: The Skin Trade (Jun. 21, 1993, Time, By MARGOT HORNBLOWER PARIS;Nomi Morris/Berlin, Anita Pratap/Bombay, Susanna M. Schrobsdorf/Brussels and James Wilde/Istanbul, with other bureaus)

Prostitutie in tijden van globalisering en recessie Deel 14: België – De Antwerpse straten zijn te schoon (Petra De Koning, August 13 2010, NRC)
link to official website
"The shootings, the way the neighbourhood was impassible, that's all gone", says [prostitution official] Willems. "But you don't hear me say that there are no pimps anymore and that we have stopped exploitation. The circulation among prostitutes is big. After three or four months they are gone, so there certainly is organisation behind that. But the real poignant cases have been removed."

Anna Vercauteren of the health centre Gh@pro says that she doesn't hear prostitutes complain. "I think that they all want a clean room." Also Solange Cluydts of the organisation for victim of human trafficking Payoke, says that the prostitutes in the Schipperskwartier are now better off. "The pimps are less violent, and the women are allowed to keep a large part of their income, they don't live so isolated anymore." Criminal gangs have sent prostitutes to other houses in other cities. In Antwerp Payoke does discover victims of human trafficking in massage parlours, especially from Thailand.
Oh, I wanted to mention that the following book is really cool, I'm reading it now!:

‘My Name Is Not Natasha’ How Albanian Women in France Use Trafficking to Overcome Social Exclusion (1998-2001)(John Davies, 2009)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Eternal Damnation

Main

I must conclude that I am a really really wicked person.

I couldn't help it.

I suddenly found myself on De Wallen in Amsterdam.

In trance.

The nights before I couldn't stop dreaming about having sex with one of these beautiful young girls.

I walked there.

Lots of beautiful young girls there.

Two lovely young gypsy girls greeted me, and said "hallo" (in Dutch) to me!
I smiled, and greeted "hallo" back, and they had to laugh about that!
That I said "hallo" back.

All these young black-haired Eastern European girls are all too enticing. No lack of them!

My conscience jumped into action, and I headed to the other Red Light District (Oude Nieuwstraat). There I found a 29-years-old German sex worker. I was very frightened, because I thought at first she was Eastern European.

When I was inside, my conscience jumped into action again, and I wanted to flee. I was very scared, I wanted to tell her I wanted to leave, that I made a mistake. But I calmed down.

She lives in the Netherlands since 5 years ago. At first she worked on De Wallen. She complained to me that other German girls often cheat on clients. First negotiating, then receiving money, and then doing nothing. She told me that clients were often very weary towards her when she told them she was German.

In a previous post I told that prostitutes often feel pain because clients often fuck so roughty. I have a very simple solution to that: fuck softly.

As for the rest. I cannot repeat more often that I actually find sex really boring. So I'm wondering more and more what I'm actually doing here. It's becoming more like a compulsive disorder. Doing something what I don't like and what I feel guilty about.

I also feel pity for all these couples who have sex everyday. That must be so boring. First blowjob, then man on top, then doggystyle, then woman on top, then doggystyle, then orgasm. Ready. Sleep.

The only positive thing is the facial contact. The sex worker did this very well, keeping eye contact with me while having sex, and smiling at me. That was really cool.

Perhaps this is what sex is all about, keeping eye contact with each other and smiling.

At the end she was surprised I didn't have a bag with me.

She always has a bag with her.

So she can put the things in there that she has bought.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Angels and Devils

Main

I have read the book Sex Signals - the Biology of Love written by Timothy Perper and released in 1986 by the Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI Pr).

I am very enthusiastic about the book. It can explain why I never had a girlfriend. The answer is not that I don't approach women, because in reality it is they who approach me! The reality is, as it turns out, I don't answer women's signals. So, the truth is that it is not so that only men approach women and that women are passive because millions of men want to spread their semen so women simply have to wait for the semen to come along. The truth according to Timothy Perper is, it is rather the other way around. Women do approach men more often than men approach women. He could conclude that by observing in bars. (Only, I wonder, if it's true that women are very critical, shouldn't they mainly approach the alpha males, with the most superior genes? Perper's book doesn't answer that question.)

Also what's very interesting is his attack on what he calls 'ethno-biology', the myth that what is caused by nature produces always the same results. In his opinion nature means diversity. So we shouldn't look strange that people have very diverse systems of courting. The only thing necessary is that people reproduce. And that can be done in a million ways.

He discovered that if you ask men and women about how to seduce the other sex, women tend to tell about the courtship phase, and men tend to skip the courtship phase and immediately start talking about foreplay, while women skip the part about sex. As if men and women have their own tasks: women deal with courtship and men deal with sex (this once again proves to me that women aren't that interested in sex).

So, women approach men and starts sending signals to them. This could be done in a very concealed way; by just standing close to him. Then she judges him by his responses. His respones to her overtures must be right. If she stands next to him, he must talk to her. If she slightly moves her face to his, he must do the same. If she touches him, he should do something like that too. If he gives a negative response, or no response, that could be a sign for her to back off. When sex finally comes, the woman lets the man take over (I can imagine that the man lets loose everything he has learned from pornography and that the woman passively goes along with it, which explains why so many women experience pain during sex. However, Timothy Perper didn't describe sexual rituals in his book in great depth).

What I also interesting is that Perper blames people in general and also specifically scientist that they split the world in two; some parts belong to the world of the profane, other parts to the world of the sacred. The world of the profane must not spoil the world of the sacred. He explains that people generally see men as belonging to the normal world. And women are supposed to be holy. That's why women belong only in one place, home, because sacred objects are usually secluded in one place, like in a temple. And this view explains according to Perper why many people treat sex so carefully and why women should be protected from that. Because women are sacred and cannot be spoiled by filthy things like men. He explains that this is why many people believe that men are the monsters or devils who have a lust for sex which cannot be tamed, and why women are supposed to be careful about sex. And that's why women who have had sex with men become spoiled, and turn into vixens or whores (the same is true for women who walk outside). Except within the sanctity of marriage.

I absolutely agree with this view. Men are demons and women are goddesses. You just don't have sex with a goddess. When I think about it, I never thought about sex with the woman or girl I was in love with. It makes sense to me now, the woman is sacred! It also explains my desperate struggle to proof that women cannot possibly have sexual feelings anymore than young children do (because women and young children have comparable levels of testosterone in their blood, contrary to men who have lots of that: testosterone, the hormone of Satan), and as a matter of fact, it also explains partly why I so eagerly want to proof that forced prostitution is not uncommon! A child doesn't have sexual feelings - a child is innocent - a woman is innocent - a woman doesn't have sexual feelings.

I have always said that if you respect a woman, you absolutely don't think about having sex with her. (And I don't believe in marriage. Intercourse is not necessary for reproduction.)

It makes sense, it absolutely makes sense.

Angels and devils.

Innocence and guilt.

That's why I feel so guilty any time I visit sex workers, in my feelings I desecrate somebody that is holy.

I have to stress that I am completely and totally NOT religious!!!

I have an offer: I propose that humanity strives for a world without SEX. With sex I mean: porn, fucking, degradation, domination, intercourse, blowjobs, anal sex, grabbing tits etc..... I don't want to abolish intimacy, like: stroking hair, kissing, caressing, loving, cuddling, looking in each others eyes etc...... Sex ain't necessary for procreation. All you need is a device where a man can put his semen, and which the woman can use to insert the semen into her vagina. That's all.

And let's do away with marriage also. I believe that women are still sacred when they are penetrated outside the sanctity of marriage. Women are ALWAYS sacred. No matter what. Also sex workers.