Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happy Ho Story


Because I’m a regular visitor of prostitutes myself now I feel forced to mention some positive stories about prostitutes instead of lampooning the sex industry as I did in the past and am doing still. But to admit, reading such stories is still a punishment for me. On the one hand I still cannot believe that there are women who support patriarchal oppression, and I still cannot accept that women have sex with other men than me. On the other hand, it is still confusing to also read stories by prostitutes who say that they are really traumatized by it and that all the men who visit them are pathetic perverted jerks.

So, in the Dutch women’s-weekly the ‘Vriendin’ (Nr. 34, August 25-31, 2010) is another story in the section ‘Hartsverhaal’ (a story of the heart) about a prostitute. This time a Dutch prostitute aged 25. Perhaps this story will soothe the feeling of guilt a little bit more. Or perhaps it is just a propaganda story created by the sex industry to recruit women in prostitution.

She tells that as a young girl if you would have told her that she would become a prostitute she would have declared you insane. She actually was very well-behaved and was mainly preoccupied with going to school and doing homework. She had an older brother with whom she had a good relationship and the atmosphere at home was good. But then, disaster struck. Her mother died and all the main chores landed on her shoulder. She had been a virgin until the age of seventeen, but to forget the grief about the loss of her mother she started to experiment with sex and had several one nightstands (a critical observer might say that the pain of loss caused her to lose her dignity).

A friend told her (the main character) that she earned her money in prostitution. That sounded like an easy way for her (the main character) to make money so she could party, go to discos and cafes and at the same time safe some money. She (the main character) worked in the catering industry and made very little money. Most of all she liked to explore her boundaries in that period. On the internet she went searching for possibilities. Working in a privéhuis (club without bar) seemed to be the best option for her. The working hours were best combinable with her study.

When she called to inform about vacancies she was very nervous. The madam was very friendly and asked her to take a look, she wasn’t forced to do anything. She liked everything what she saw: the girls were nice, the security was good and she had a good feeling about the madam. She cut the knot and decided to try it out, she stopped her job in the catering industry and two days later she had her first workday in the brothel.

She felt a mixture a curiosity and stress. The first client luckily was a very friendly young man. She almost felt like a virgin during sex. After that her first stress was gone and she had a nice day. The other girls were very pleasant and while they waited for new clients they got to know each other and watched television. On her first day she also a her first trio. She had five clients on her first day and went home with 300 Euros.

She liked the work in the brothel a lot. According to her, for many men it is not necessarily about sex but more about intimacy (but I wonder then, why don’t many women visit male prostitutes if it’s all about intimacy? Where is the big sex industry catering to women?). They (the clients) just want to stay for an hour to get a good feeling. There are clients with whom she really enjoyed the sex and often she had an orgasm herself. Most men are very respectful and sexually she was satisfied by this work.

She has experimented with other forms of prostitution. She wasn’t satisfied about the idea that she had to share her income with the madam, so she started working behind windows. In one day you could make a thousand Euros this way. But she felt vulnerable there, there was no security. There were also watchers who shouted things at her and men were just standing there before her window to become horny. She then decided to work in a club. But in a club you are paid to make a man buy alcohol, she didn’t like that. Also lots of drugs was used there. So she decided to return to the brothel where she first started.

She has worked in prostitution for two years. During that time she has saved enough money to start her own business without the need of a bank loan. She stopped working in prostitution because she fell in love with one of her customers whom she met in prostitution. He didn’t like the idea that she had sex with all kinds of men. She then decided to stop working in prostitution.

She finds it pitiful that prostitution is such a taboo. She has met a lot of sympathetic girls and women who are prostitutes. She doesn’t feel ashamed about it but she doesn’t blaze it abroad. She is very grateful that she has created so many possibilities for her future by working in prostitution. And above all it gave her a lot of self-confidence and this way she stands very firmly in her shoes. Beautiful men came to her who saved money to be with her. In her opinion prostitution is the oldest profession in the world and she hopes there will be a time that you can talk about it just like any other profession.

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