Friday, August 20, 2010

Eternal Damnation

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I must conclude that I am a really really wicked person.

I couldn't help it.

I suddenly found myself on De Wallen in Amsterdam.

In trance.

The nights before I couldn't stop dreaming about having sex with one of these beautiful young girls.

I walked there.

Lots of beautiful young girls there.

Two lovely young gypsy girls greeted me, and said "hallo" (in Dutch) to me!
I smiled, and greeted "hallo" back, and they had to laugh about that!
That I said "hallo" back.

All these young black-haired Eastern European girls are all too enticing. No lack of them!

My conscience jumped into action, and I headed to the other Red Light District (Oude Nieuwstraat). There I found a 29-years-old German sex worker. I was very frightened, because I thought at first she was Eastern European.

When I was inside, my conscience jumped into action again, and I wanted to flee. I was very scared, I wanted to tell her I wanted to leave, that I made a mistake. But I calmed down.

She lives in the Netherlands since 5 years ago. At first she worked on De Wallen. She complained to me that other German girls often cheat on clients. First negotiating, then receiving money, and then doing nothing. She told me that clients were often very weary towards her when she told them she was German.

In a previous post I told that prostitutes often feel pain because clients often fuck so roughty. I have a very simple solution to that: fuck softly.

As for the rest. I cannot repeat more often that I actually find sex really boring. So I'm wondering more and more what I'm actually doing here. It's becoming more like a compulsive disorder. Doing something what I don't like and what I feel guilty about.

I also feel pity for all these couples who have sex everyday. That must be so boring. First blowjob, then man on top, then doggystyle, then woman on top, then doggystyle, then orgasm. Ready. Sleep.

The only positive thing is the facial contact. The sex worker did this very well, keeping eye contact with me while having sex, and smiling at me. That was really cool.

Perhaps this is what sex is all about, keeping eye contact with each other and smiling.

At the end she was surprised I didn't have a bag with me.

She always has a bag with her.

So she can put the things in there that she has bought.

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