Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Dark Side


Lately, I acted out my plan of visiting the sex work place that I ogled earlier.

When I entered the sex work place, it turned out to be very well visited that evening, and only one sex worker was left for me, which luckily turned out to be the sex worker I ogled earlier when I watched the sex work place website. Because the sex work place was so well visited, no rooms were left, so we had to wait. That was interesting because I could see other sex workers enter the living room. Sometimes they looked at me, with a look of contempt.

Then came the time when a room was vacant, and the sex worker that I chose and I could go to that room. From the beginning it was immediately clear that the sex worker didn't like me at all. She treated me with disdain. I thought: "oh-ooooh".

Hardly a glance was granted to me. She remained silent. I asked from which city she came. She came from The Hague. She by the way was Dutch and I estimate her age to be roughly 30.

Above the bed was a television which played sex work films from the local sex work channel ('Private Spice'). These films were supposed to stimulate the sex work in me. She asked me if I wanted poppers. I refused. She asked me if I wanted a blowjob without condom. I have to admit that I considered it, because under normal conditions I'm against this. When she said that this costed 50 Euros extra, I declined. I asked her if she didn't find this dangerous, she said that this was no more dangerous than licking.

Despite being treated with disdain, I can say that I haven't had better sex in my life. It was very funny, because I was in a constant state of orgasm. She had the hottest body, and above all, the hottest ass. Sex-working her doggystyle and to be inside her was awesome. When we switched to the missionary position I was delighted because for the first time I could actually do it. I had an orgasm when she was on top of me.

After this, the sex worker asked with an edgy voice if I wanted a drink THIS TIME (which I refused earlier on), which was okay for me, and she brought me a drink. Then she gave me a massage.

With a kiss I left.

This event left me with mixed feelings. On the one hand I was treated badly. This sex worker doesn't like her work at all. On the other hand, I have had the best sex in my life!!!!! Sex can be cool after all!!!!

I think I have to reverse my idea that having porn with a sex worker is the same as having sex with your lover. The difference at least is that your lover doesn't despise you (I hope). I must admit, that I finally have joined the dark side, that is the pro-sex work position. This is the position which defends the idea that it is okay to do the most horrendous things to a person, as long as that person made the unfortunate mistake of consenting to undergo these things. I can't help it, I'm a very bad person. :'(

I think I will continue visiting sex workers.

But now for something completely different. It is about the discovery I made some time ago that sex for women who don't do sex work can be a pain in the ass too!!!

Dutch sexologist (read: pornologist) Rick van Lunsen gave an interview to HP/De Tijd (16 July 2010). What he says shows that Kathleen Barry is right in saying that the line between sex between lovers, sex between sex workers and rape is blurring. Actually it doesn't matter if you have sex with a sex worker, because your lover suffers too ...... in silence :'( . I translate a part of the interview in Dutch:
What is the influence of feminism on the sexual experience of the modern woman?
"Good question, because I worry a lot about women. They have the inclination as a lover to strive towards a perfection that is not good. They ignore themselves completely to seemingly be able to sexually function perfectly. They let their labia be made smaller, shave off each little hair, and God knows what else they do. Only to satisfy their lover."
Isn't that allowed then?
"Yes, but it becomes strange when you sacrifice your own sexual development to the wishes of the other. 57 percent of all girls aged 15 to 25 years often or always have pain during sexual intercourse. So they don't get aroused, their vaginas don't lubricate. Then intercourse is a painful matter."
"Yes, because they read magazines that weekly write about relationships and about sex, they are brought up by mothers who have been born in the middle of the sexual revolution. You would expect that these girls know what they want and how."
From what kinds of environments do these girls come from?
"The complaint about pain during intercourse you often see among young, white, highly educated girls. Whole year classes I get on my consulting-hours"
You mean the hockey girls, the girls from the students' corps?
"Precisely, these"
But how come that they are so submissive then?
"They simply don't communicate. Girls don't tell the boys what their wishes are, their boundaries and their desires. And boys hardy ever ask about that. Apparently both haven't learned that from home."

By the way, it seems to be that he exaggerates a little bit. The number 57% of women aged 15-25 who often or always have pain during intercourse should in reality be 11% (if you read the original report). 57% in total feel pain during sex, often or sometimes. The source is page 63 of:
Seks onder je 25e - Seksuele gezondheid van jongeren in Nederland anno 2005 (Hanneke de Graaf, Suzanne Meijer, Jos Poelman, Ine Vanwesenbeeck, 2005)

I wonder how sex workers cope with pain during sex with their clients, because if many normal young women struggle with pain during intercourse then the same must be true for sex workers.

Another interesting piece of data from the same report (page 108): (of boys and girls younger than 25) 1% of the girls and 2% of the boys have been paid for sex. 57% of the girls who were paid for sex (8 of every 1000 girls) had been forced or persuaded to do this and 14% came to the idea themselves. 30% of the boys who were paid for sex came to the idea themselves and of 53% of the boys somebody else came to the idea but they liked it anyway. In total 4 of every 1000 boys have been forced or persuaded to be paid for sex. And regarding forced sex in general (page 108): 4,2% of the boys have forced and 17.8% of the girls have been forced to have sex once. These numbers rise to 4,6% and 24,7% for boys and girls respectively in the age group 21-24.

The sample in this report contained 2382 boys and 2439 girls. So, it must be noticed that 8 out of 1000 girls (who are forced or pushed) means 20 girls, so that means 34 girls in total who have been paid for sex. For boys these numbers are 10 boys who are pushed. The numbers are not big, so the large percentage who are forced or pushed could be a coincidence. But still very interesting! It is another proof to me that forced prostitution is not a myth.

I'm wondering more and more if visiting prostitutes was a bad idea after all. :'(

(Believe me, I know what I'm doing, I only visit Dutch prostitutes who don't work in window prostitution, because forced Dutch prostitutes are heavily concentrated in window prostitution. So I visit Dutch prostitutes who work in clubs)

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