Sunday, July 04, 2010

Can't stop!


I don't know, I just can't stop doing it. Especially with the new attitude that I have.

I just visited another sex worker.

Do I feel guilty? No, the feeling of guilt that I am abusing a person is fading away. I don't worry anymore that the person that I have porn/sex with is trafficked or coerced, because I don't believe in that phenomenon anymore. I'm worrying more about my money. I wonder if it's just worth it. I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that sexuality, or pornography (as the two are actually the same thing because what people do in bed is directly derived from the porn films they see) is just so boring.

What do I like about visiting a sex worker? Actually, for me it's just the excitement to do something transgressive. That's what sexuality or pornography mean to me. I just wonder how people can have porn or sex with each other, without being aroused by the feeling of doing something naughty. Having sex every day must be really boring. When I am in a relationship, I think once every two months would be more than enough for me.

What I also like about visiting a sex worker is the contact that I can make with women that way. Something that in real life I rarely have. It's so nice just to talk to a woman, only if that only takes 15 minutes. The last woman I visited was very nice, it was very cool and a real honour to speak with her. She finds doggystyle the greatest position and she really liked my reproductive organ which wasn't too big nor too small, exactly the right size and beautifully shaped. That's a compliment.

What I also discovered about sexuality=pornography is that it is very difficult to have. The first problem is to get an erection, I regularly lose it during sex, so I often need breaks. The second thing is to get through all the motions. A simple position like the missionary position is a terrible pain in the ass and you'll need some good control over your body to perform this position. The third problem is the problem how to find out what the sexual boundaries are of the person you have sex/porn with. For instance, the last sex worker I visited didn't seem to appreciate my gentle touch of her vagina and she quickly receded, indicating that she didn't want that.

Although my current belief is that sex work (=porn work) is a noble profession, and a dignifying kind of work for young women, I do have to make a remark about the sex work place I visited. On the bar stood a price list (upright, encased in plastic, just like a menu in a restaurant), it read like this:

30 minutes - 80 Euro
45 minutes - 115 Euro
60 minutes - 150 Euro (remember, this is a very classy brothel)
blow job without condom - 35 Euro
anal - 50 Euro (I don't know the exact prices)

So, that must put an enormous pressure on the women to perform these tasks for these prices, even if they don't want to do that in the first place. I asked the sex worker about the price list and she sweared to me that she absolutely never performed blow jobs without protection, except on boyfriends. But the website of the sex work place said she did!!! And a review by a client reveals that actually she did perform a blow job without condom on him. That was really silly.

So, that was just a negative remark. For the rest, sex work is really cool.

What I should do, is just make a lot of female friends and talk with them a lot (because that's what I most long for), and don't go for sex or a relationship.

In the mean time, there's another sex work place that I have my eyes on......... :X

(more reports will follow)

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