Sunday, December 26, 2010

Another blast from the past!!!!

Main

I’m looking through the archives of all the human trafficking stories I have collected throughout the last 6 years. Many I haven’t even read yet. I’m performing statistical analyses on them. There are some very shocking and horrific stories, but also some cases that make me wonder. There are the ones who say that human trafficking doesn’t exist. That prostitution is a noble profession, and that all the prostitutes who say say it isn't are lying bitches. That the supposed victims only want to get a residence permit and then say they are victims of trafficking, or they are so jealous about their boyfriends having relationships with other prostitutes that they go to the police and file a complaint against him.

In between the mountain of trafficking stories I have found some very peculiar cases, which seem to support these claims in some cases.

I want to start with a very old story way back from 1997 from the newspaper 'De Volkskrant':
the link is over here

I'll provide a complete unofficial translation:
‘Russische hoeren gespitst op verblijfsstatus en uitkering’ [Russian whores focused on residence permit and welfare]

Mark van Driel – June 25 1997

Not in the Bloedstraat, not in de Enge Kerksteeg, but behind the Krasnapolsky near the koffieshop. That’s where her lucky window lies, thinks Katia Ivanva [fictive name]…

For more than three years Katia hasn’t been on de Wallen. The frail, dark blonde Russian woman (24) has married in the mean time, works as an accountant in the bread factory of her father and lives in Solnechnogorsk just outside Moscow. Amsterdam belongs to her past, until she unexpectedly was summoned as a witness in the trial against her former pimp Wladimir C., a 32-year old Russian who is suspected of women trafficking.

Katia is one of the thirteen young prostitutes who in 1993 filed testimonies at the police about Wladimir. A part is incriminating. Six women say that they have been lured under false pretenses to the Netherlands. Supposedly they were promised work as stripper, flower girl or waitress. Once in Amsterdam, with a large debt through the purchase of the airplane ticket and visa, they were forced to work behind the window.

The other seven women, among them Katia, says that they voluntarily - on the invitation of Wladimir - went to work on de Wallen. There was not a bit of coercion, but of a business deal. The former policeman arranged a temporary visa, accommodation and a window, and in exchange got 150 guilders per worked evening. The women most of them highly educated, were allowed to arrange their own working hours. They earned approximately six hundred guilders per night.

From the testimonies that the judge read aloud during the session, it turned out that also prostitutes whom accused Wladimir of exploitation, profited from some ‘labour standars’. Also these women traveled between their area of birth and de Wallen, without accompaniment of Wladimir.

The lawyer of Wladimir, mr. M. van Vuuren, believes the travel information and the telephone wiretaps of the police prove that the women worked in prostitution voluntarily. The Russian women lived in the house of Wladimir or came to visit there. Nowhere it turns out that they were beaten or exploited, he says. A girl even flew back to Russia without compensating for her ticket, without reprisals.

Van Vuuren suspects that the incriminating testimonies have been made up. He believes that the women wanted to profit from the arrangement which is meant to protect victims of human trafficking. According to chapter B 17 of the Vreemdelingcirculaire (circular letter for aliens) a woman can - in exchange of an incriminating testimony against a trafficker - get a residence permit that is valid during the period of the trial. Sometimes they also get welfare.

The Russian women made use of the deal to prevent their deportation when they were encountered without valid papers behind the window, thinks Van Vuuren. From the telephone wiretaps it turns out that the women discussed the arrangement mutually. With the temporary residence status and the welfare they supposedly kept on working.

The Public Prosecutor acknowledges that the women can profit from the B 17-arrangement. How often the measure was offered to the victims, is unknown. About abuse [of B-17] there isn’t information either. The abuse [of B-17] can only be prevented, says the spokesperson, by deporting the women and (letting) them be interrogated in the country of origin. That’s expensive and doesn’t happen often.

Katia Ivanova, the only prostitute who appeared in the courtroom to give evidence, confirmed the suspicions of the lawyer under oath. The girls lied about Wladimir to be allowed to stay in the Netherlands, she later says in a café. They later kept on working with welfare with another pimp.

Weren’t they afraid of Wladimir, who [the prostitutes] - because of the false accusations - could get into trouble? Katia laughs cheerfully. ‘Wladimir dangerous? He’s much too reliable for that. He doesn’t belong to the mafia, but earned a little bit extra with us. In the meantime he tried to set up an import and export firm; in fruit juice, motor oil, cars.’

Also lawyer Van Vuuren sees Wladimir as a starting, not very clever businessman. From the telephone wiretaps it turns out that often he had money problems. To make ends meet he took all kinds of moonlight jobs. Except of being a pimp he also was a paperboy and, shortly, re-stocker of the shelves.

Wladimir, who was arrested in Germany last year, is back in Moscow. The judge immediately set him free Friday after the session. The punishment which the Russian (possibly) gets next week, will because of that most certainly be lower that his detention of remand of ten months.

Punishment the Russian will get, thinks Van Vuuren. He predicts that the pimp will be duped by an ‘inaccurate formulation in the law’. The law speaks of human trafficking when a person bring women to the Netherlands and offers them work in prostitution. Even when the women work voluntarily behind the window you can speak of illicit traffic. Two partners of Wladimir were sentenced to nine and eighteen months in prison in 1994 because of that reason.

Katia responds with relieve to the release of her former pimp. She hopes that her testimony has helped, because she had to lie to be able to appear in Amsterdam. Her husband and parents know nothing about her past in prostitution. She always maintained that she has worked in the Netherlands as an accountant.

‘It was about money and adventure’, says Katia. ‘I was nineteen and wanted to make pleasure. And Amsterdam is safer for girls than Moscow. ‘She doesn’t have regrets , but feels some shame. But she has stopped on time, she knows. Contrary to a girlfriend. Who sits in Haarlem behind a window: divorced, child taken from her, on cocaine.

A lucky window doesn’t last forever, Katia realises when she stands for the closed curtains of her favourite window. She shivers, wants to leave quickly and seeks explanations for the ominous feelings that befall her. ‘The atmosphere is totally different. It stinks. Al those men, al the black women. It’s not like in the past. Or perhaps I have changed?’

The name Katia Ivanova is fictitious.
So, that's a totally weird story. Six women who say they are forced? That cannot be a coincidence. I would say that Wladimir is a very bad man! After reading this story at first, I believe, hey, this Wladimir is really innocent. But now that I think about this longer, I do remember that there are cases of human traffickers being nice to one group of prostitutes, but treating another group badly. Perhaps this is the case here. Human traffickers treat different prostitutes differently. And perhaps Katia was one of the accomplices. She perhaps was one of the bad traffickers herself.

Another solution to this mysterious story is that indeed several women were promised the wrong jobs, but immediately after arriving accepted the indecent proposal to work in prostitution, were treated relatively well after that, and were happy with the situation. I know several cases about this happening. And what could have happened in this case is that after they left Wladimir they indeed wanted to have a residence permit and went to the police saying that they were tricked, which may not be a lie. Perhaps they were tricked initially, but collaborated with Wladimir after that.

I cannot make cheese of this story. But, it is still strange why women have to hand over money to men who don't do anything but receiving money. Why don't the women buy plane tickets for themselves and live in hotel rooms if they don't know a place to live? Why can't these women arrange these things for themselves?

But, I have found other very weird stories. The next story will be a story of how a girl falls in love with a man and within days after meeting him on TMF-chat works for him behind a window.

Stay tuned!

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Making love as work

Main

I promised to review the book ‘Beminnen als beroep – mijn carrière als courtisane’ [making love as a profession – my career as a courtisane] by Roos Bachelier (2010, not her birth year, and a pseudonym). A Dutch book written by a Dutch prostitute.

Roos Bachelier is a mother of pubescent children. She is an older prostitute and very proud that her belly is still tight after giving birth to her children. She is active in the swingers’ scene and very open-minded. She has worked until recently in Dutch prostitution for many years (at least eight), mainly in club Mayfair in The Hague (which also hosts ‘privehuis Stout’ by the way, which is visited once). To illustrate how open-minded she is: her first entry in the world of prostitution began as an experiment in a swingers’-club under the presence of a female friend and her husband (of the latter). The husband played the role of a pimp and with the two of them they received clients. Also, when she married once, they had a special 'fuck-the-bride' wedding party.

In the book she mainly describes sexual encounters with clients. In my opinion, these stories are not so important. But, I want to know what she thinks about forced prostitution, and she has something to say about that. For me it still it big enigma if all the fuzz about forced prostitution is all just that …. a big fuzz, or is or was it real? Is there anything for a client to be afraid of?

After all the years that she has worked in club Mayfair she has encountered one prostitute who was forced. She describes her in the chapter called : Zorajah the insecure (in Dutch: ‘Zorajah de onzekere’). She is a young Moroccan woman who is forced to work by her husband. She was 18 years old (at that time), and already worked in prostitution for one-and-a-half year. They wanted to save money for an expensive marriage. He keeps all the money in a safe. She is not very good at refusing harmful request by clients. Two weeks after Zorajah stopped working in that club lurid men came to the club to collect some of her stuff that was still there. They were sent away by the managment. Roos tells that she feels sad about Zorajah. According to her forced prostitution does happen, within the margin, but still it does.

In another episode a vice inspector enters the brothel who inspects if there aren’t any forced prostitutes around by the way. He asks Roos if she does this work voluntarily. She becomes very agitated. She asks him ‘do you do you work voluntarily?’. ‘You do know what I mean?’ he says. She says ‘I understand very well what you mean. Exactly that’s why. I work to work, to earn money. Isn’t that what you also do?’. He says ‘let me ask it differently. The money that you earn, is that for yourself or for somebody else?’ She says ‘the money that I earn is only for a small part for myself. Most of it is for the bank, then a part goes to the supermarket, the shoe store, I pay the school fees of my children with it. Actually only little remains for myself.’ He says ‘but you don’t have to hand over your money to a man?’ While laughing she answers ‘to a man? Hell no. On the contrary, men lose their money to me when they come near me, the other way around doesn’t happen. May I ask something maybe?’. He answers ‘yes of course that may. ‘. ‘What do you think to accomplish with these questions?’ she asks. He says ‘In your case not so much. You probably do your work here voluntarily, that is clear now.‘ She says ‘but do you really believe that with these questions you can pick out a girl who doesn’t work here voluntarily?’ He says ‘You obviously never know, but that probability is very small. Actually it never happened to me. But I also give my visiting card. And it does happen that I get a response to that later. That nevertheless such a girl starts to think and asks for help. Then we can jump into action.’ She asks ‘What can you do for her? ‘ He answers ‘depending on the situation, mostly not so much. We can help her to leave the circuit, together with other organizations. It is complicated. But don’t you agree that abuses should be tackled?’ She says ‘Of course abuses should be tackled. But the real abuses, if you think about pimps, abuse, maltreatment don’t happen in a club like this! If you are a minor you are even not allowed to work here. If you are illegal you aren’t allowed to work here. Those abuses take place in an underground circuit. Because of the bad legislation and because of the arrival of internet that underground segment has become much larger. That’s where the abuses are. That’s something you should do something about as vice police. What could help in my opinion is that the minimum age of prostitutes is lifted to twenty-three years old. Young women who do this work, there mostly is a pimp behind that. If you are older, you are often also somewhat wiser, don’t let yourself be tricked by a man. Young women without self-confidence, they are vulnerable. But they don’t work in a club. A pimp will not put a girl in a club very quickly, there she is outside of his sphere of influence, she will be made independent way too quickly by her colleagues. Those girls are in another circuit, where there’s being worked without licenses.’

She says (in the same chapter as Wouter the cop) that in the eight years that she has worked in prostitution she never has encountered a woman who was violently forced to do this work. She does know that when at one point you want to do something else it could be handy to hide yourself behind a pitiful story, to get the social workers into action, to get understanding from society and get money for retraining. It seems easier to carry the humiliation when you are found pitiful because you couldn’t help it. She tells that whomever colleague she speaks, the most difficult part they never find the sex. If a girl abhors sex with an older man, she simply refuses him. The most difficult part is the moral condemnation from society. Social workers can’t help with that, they confirm it.

Another interesting part from the book is her chapter about Tara the window prostitute. At the time Roos knew Tara she worked in the club with Roos, but at first Tara worked behind the windows in Amsterdam. She started to work in prostitution at the age of 23 and works in prostitution for seven years. Tara tells that when she worked in window prostitution, that at first she had fifteen clients a day and that every day she went home with 1500 to 2000 Euros. She had a good connection with the other Dutch prostitutes. They were good colleagues, cooperated well together and helped each other. The prices were fixed, 50 Euro for a quarter of an hour. If the client wanted something more, like a different position or another piece of clothing that had to go off, he had to pay more. The rent of the room was 150 Euro, plus other costs (including condoms and parking) it cost 200 Euros to work. But you earned that back very easily. But then….. the Eastern European prostitutes came. They were all here to make money quickly. She never noticed anything about human trafficking. They do everything for 30 Euro. One after the other Dutch prostitute stopped. The good atmosphere was completely gone. Gradually she earned less. At first she went home with 2000 Euros a day, then it went to 1500 or even 1000. It went worse. It became normal to go home only with 600 or 700 Euro. Then came the days that she went home with nothing, and even TWO days in a row that she had nothing……

I find these testimonies very peculiar. Roos’ claim that there is no coercion in the club she works sounds plausible. This is an expensive club and it could be true that forced prostitution mainly happens in cheaper brothels. And above all, Roos mainly worked in that club. But Tara’s story surprises me. Of window prostitution you hear very often that the pimps are very present in these areas, and that they often approach and extort the independent prostitutes. Open violence against prostitutes by pimps on the street (!) is reported to be very common, and very visible. And many young window prostitutes, also the Dutch prostitutes, are forced by pimps. However, I have encountered prostitutes before who swear (in print and in chat) that nothing special happens in window prostitution in Amsterdam, and all the stories about human trafficking are just a mosquito made into an elephant. So, what’s the truth?

The enigma continues....

She also did a radio interview radio 1. In the radio interview she says that forced prostitution cannot represent more than 5% of the prostitutes. And all the Eastern European prostitutes in the club knew what work the were going to do.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happy Ho Story

Main

Because I’m a regular visitor of prostitutes myself now I feel forced to mention some positive stories about prostitutes instead of lampooning the sex industry as I did in the past and am doing still. But to admit, reading such stories is still a punishment for me. On the one hand I still cannot believe that there are women who support patriarchal oppression, and I still cannot accept that women have sex with other men than me. On the other hand, it is still confusing to also read stories by prostitutes who say that they are really traumatized by it and that all the men who visit them are pathetic perverted jerks.

So, in the Dutch women’s-weekly the ‘Vriendin’ (Nr. 34, August 25-31, 2010) is another story in the section ‘Hartsverhaal’ (a story of the heart) about a prostitute. This time a Dutch prostitute aged 25. Perhaps this story will soothe the feeling of guilt a little bit more. Or perhaps it is just a propaganda story created by the sex industry to recruit women in prostitution.

She tells that as a young girl if you would have told her that she would become a prostitute she would have declared you insane. She actually was very well-behaved and was mainly preoccupied with going to school and doing homework. She had an older brother with whom she had a good relationship and the atmosphere at home was good. But then, disaster struck. Her mother died and all the main chores landed on her shoulder. She had been a virgin until the age of seventeen, but to forget the grief about the loss of her mother she started to experiment with sex and had several one nightstands (a critical observer might say that the pain of loss caused her to lose her dignity).

A friend told her (the main character) that she earned her money in prostitution. That sounded like an easy way for her (the main character) to make money so she could party, go to discos and cafes and at the same time safe some money. She (the main character) worked in the catering industry and made very little money. Most of all she liked to explore her boundaries in that period. On the internet she went searching for possibilities. Working in a privéhuis (club without bar) seemed to be the best option for her. The working hours were best combinable with her study.

When she called to inform about vacancies she was very nervous. The madam was very friendly and asked her to take a look, she wasn’t forced to do anything. She liked everything what she saw: the girls were nice, the security was good and she had a good feeling about the madam. She cut the knot and decided to try it out, she stopped her job in the catering industry and two days later she had her first workday in the brothel.

She felt a mixture a curiosity and stress. The first client luckily was a very friendly young man. She almost felt like a virgin during sex. After that her first stress was gone and she had a nice day. The other girls were very pleasant and while they waited for new clients they got to know each other and watched television. On her first day she also a her first trio. She had five clients on her first day and went home with 300 Euros.

She liked the work in the brothel a lot. According to her, for many men it is not necessarily about sex but more about intimacy (but I wonder then, why don’t many women visit male prostitutes if it’s all about intimacy? Where is the big sex industry catering to women?). They (the clients) just want to stay for an hour to get a good feeling. There are clients with whom she really enjoyed the sex and often she had an orgasm herself. Most men are very respectful and sexually she was satisfied by this work.

She has experimented with other forms of prostitution. She wasn’t satisfied about the idea that she had to share her income with the madam, so she started working behind windows. In one day you could make a thousand Euros this way. But she felt vulnerable there, there was no security. There were also watchers who shouted things at her and men were just standing there before her window to become horny. She then decided to work in a club. But in a club you are paid to make a man buy alcohol, she didn’t like that. Also lots of drugs was used there. So she decided to return to the brothel where she first started.

She has worked in prostitution for two years. During that time she has saved enough money to start her own business without the need of a bank loan. She stopped working in prostitution because she fell in love with one of her customers whom she met in prostitution. He didn’t like the idea that she had sex with all kinds of men. She then decided to stop working in prostitution.

She finds it pitiful that prostitution is such a taboo. She has met a lot of sympathetic girls and women who are prostitutes. She doesn’t feel ashamed about it but she doesn’t blaze it abroad. She is very grateful that she has created so many possibilities for her future by working in prostitution. And above all it gave her a lot of self-confidence and this way she stands very firmly in her shoes. Beautiful men came to her who saved money to be with her. In her opinion prostitution is the oldest profession in the world and she hopes there will be a time that you can talk about it just like any other profession.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Vulnerable profession

Main

The report Kwetsbaar beroep - Een onderzoek naar de prostitutiebranche in Amsterdam [Vulnerable profession - a research into the prostitution branch in Amsterdam] (Bureau Beke, 2010) just entered my mailbox and I read some pages quickly. I must conclude that the world is still a bad place. The book is kind of boring, with lots of numbers, facts and figures. I think the researchers couldn't find other information. But the positive side is, the books smells really good! Really new. (Actually, you can download the whole report: here)

About pimps on De Wallen (page 165), this piece is very interesting, so for now a direct unofficial translation:
On De Wallen there is virtually no prostitute who works without a pimp, at least that's what several interviewed respondents say, police as well as social work and the prostitutes themselves. The pimps can offer the prostitutes protection and share in the profits. The last thing isn't necessarily illegal, provided that the prostitute can decide this in full freedom. From interviews with prostitutes it emerges that strictly speaking nothing is necessarily wrong with pimps. They can arrange things for the prostitutes and act in the ways of a manager. A pimp in their experience is comparable to a boss from the normal business life. A number of prostitutes previously have also worked for a pimp, but can fend for themselves just fine now. Some admit that they still have 'a boyfriend', but according to the prostitutes themselves you can not speak of coercion or involuntariness. They decide for themselves when, where and how long they work. About their colleague-prostitutes on De Wallen, they say that 90 percent work for a pimp to whom they have to hand over a large part of their income (after deduction of the window rent half of the revenue). When prostitutes don't want to work for a pimp, these men sabotage the entry of customers by simply standing in front of the door permanently. This way they force the women into paying 'protection'. There is also a group of prostitutes on De Wallen of whom many respondents say that they work completely independently, without a pimp. This involves transsexuals and South Americans who work in the Bloedsteeg. These are prostitutes who in the view of a respondent 'don't let themselves be forced'. They work here in prostitutes for years.
So to summarize: prostitutes are still blackmailed on De Wallen. What I also read is that the Singel area (Oude Nieuwstraat and surroundings) is not so good at all (page 166). Many Eastern Europeans do work there. Actually I saw that with my own eyes, so the idea that only older women work there is not completely right, only on average. According to the people interviewed by the researchers pimps collect the women in the Singel area in big BMW's and bring them to De Wallen. This is another mirage of mine which is shattered (I actually visited two prostitutes there recently).

Now, The Scharlaken Koord survey among 202 window prostitutes:
The reason for staying in prostitution
table 10.3 page 193
102 (95%) For the money
3 (2%) Likes the work
8 (4%) For the attention
1 (0.5%) For the thrill
41 (20%) The step is emotionally too big
16 (8%) Is coerced
43 (21%) No education
123 (61%) No alternative
157 (78%) Don't speak Dutch
70 (35%) No knowledge about the Netherlands
106 (53%) Not allowed to do other work

One more note: the researchers only interviewed a handful of prostitutes in depth: 8, in the Singel area. Come on, that's no thorough research! Why not interview a hundred prostitutes? The prostitutes interviewed are from the Dominican Republic (1), Ghana (2), the Netherlands (2), Romania (2) and the Ukraine (1).

Oh, and I wanted to say that another book has entered my mailbox: Beminnen als beroep - Mijn carrière als courtisane [making love as a profession - my career as a courtisane] (2010) written by Roos Bachelier. She also did a radio interview radio 1. She told that forced prostitution doesn't affect more prostitutes than 5%. And she really loved her work. She catered to rich men in club Mayfair in The Hague (I have been there too!). Mainly drugs barons by the way.

I now have read the first part of the book where she went to prostitution-training in an amateur club together with her female friend and her friend's boyfriend! They had paid sex with several guys there and the boyfriend acted as their pimp.

(Oh oops, I really start to believe that I'm becoming criminally insane! Don't know what to believe anymore with all these happy hookers and sad prostitutes passing by! But I'm glad as a prostitutor that at least one woman seems to be happy allowing her body and person to be degraded in such a way. Ooohhhh, I'm just jealous, I can't stand it when women have sex with other guys than me!)

Stay tuned.

UPDATE:
While reading through the book ('Kwetsbaar Beroep') some more I read some more flabbergasting facts:
-(on page 20) The Police people of the Beursstraat (near the Wallen) registered from mid 2007 through May 2009 a total of 670 window prostitutes and 208 men whom the police refer to as persons who commit violence (geweldplegers). These men directly or indirectly surfaced in cases of trafficking in women. Well, I hope that the police is just thoroughly wrong and just prejudiced! If they are right this could hint at a ratio of 3 evil pimps for every 10 prostitutes on the Wallen.
-Another fact. The writers of the book estimate that prostitutes work 4 shifts per week on the Wallen (on page 67). One shift takes approximately 8 hours. That means a 32 hour working week. And in my opinion this contradicts the notion that many prostitutes are forced, because wouldn't they work much longer then?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Wallen still a bad place?

Main

Bureau Beke came out with a new report about the prostitution situation in Amsterdam. It's called something like 'vulnerable profession' (Kwetsbaar Beroep) and the whole report can be downloaded here. I ordered the full report and I'm still waiting for it.

Regarding forced prostitution, they conclude (from the interviews they did with prostitutes, police people and social workers) that nearly all prostitutes on de Wallen still work with pimps. Other window prostitution areas in Amsterdam are less affected, as well as the clubs etc....

Also, they conclude that the window brothel operators have a lot of power and can demand very high rents from the women. Too high.

They also refer to a survey among prostitutes largely on de Wallen done by the Christian organisation Het Scharlaken Koord (Scarlet Cord) where 8% of the prostitutes indicate that they are coerced to do this work.

So, all in all .....

nothing has changed ......

No improvements......

Nothing .....

Should I be happy or should I be sad.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Romanian girl

Main

I have been so focussed on forced prostitution I ignored more or less the more positive stories about prostitutes.

In the Dutch ladies' magazine 'Vriendin' (6-12 October, Nr. 40, 2010) there's one such story. It's in the 'hartsverhaal' (heart's story) section and called 'mijn familie denkt nog steeds dat ik in een hotel werk" [my family still thinks I work in a hotel].

A Romanian girl tells she went to Amsterdam with the intention of working in prostitution here. She was 19 at the time. She earned a lot of money in Romania already, that is 300 Euro per month. But she couldn't maintain her family with that, her family members earned a lot less.

Together with a 'boyfriend' she decidedly went to Amsterdam. She had heard that prostitution was normal there, and she could find work there. The 'boyfriend' she knew vaguely. He told that he wanted to let women work for him and that he wanted to try in the Netherlands. That's why she said she wanted to work for him in Amsterdam. But she said that obviously she left him immediately after arriving in Amsterdam because she knew better than allowing him to earn money from her. At first she started in a webcam studio, but this didn't earn enough for her so she started to work as a callgirl on top of that. The studio owner didn't want prostitutes in his company so she was kicked out.

She said that especially out of curiosity she entered prostitution. She had had one boyfriend but he was very religious and didn't want to have sex before marriage. At the age of 18 she more or less forced him to have sex with her. After this, she was curious and started to explore more possibilities. The fact that she could make money from it fascinated her.

All in all this seems to be a more positive story. She isn't forced to do it, likes her work and gets the money herself. But there are some negative aspects too. Most clients are nice men who merely want attention. But there are some bastards among them who don't treat her with respect and think they can do anything, who want rough sex like in a porn video [=sex work film]. Especially the first escort agency she worked for sent her to clients like that. Now she works for an agency who screens the clients better. She works 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. She never rejects reservations.

Another negative aspect is that she can't have a boyfriend anymore, because in her opinion no man lets his wife or girlfriend earn money in prostitution. She doesn't want to hang out with other prostitutes, and as a matter of fact, she only has one (female) friend in the Netherlands and her prostitution clients. The men she meets are very normal guys, often on transit and a bit lonely, searching for love and a caring woman. Every now and then she enjoys it herself. She has had between 800 and a 1000 clients.

Aside from some negative sides, I hope that the situation of this girl reflects the situation of other Romanian prostitutes in the Netherlands.

(Or actually I do not! Women can't possibly enjoy sex can't they?)

Now that I visit prostitutes again nowadays I'm forced to show more light on the positive sides. Perhaps I will. But I will keep an eye on the dark side too.

Friday, September 17, 2010

A new overhaul

Main

Lately I'm thinking what I am going to do with my blog.

I started it initially to warn the world about the horrors of Dutch prostitution. Especially regarding forced prostitution.

Then I started to doubt. Is the Dutch sex industry really so bad? Perhaps prostitution is a lovely job, and all those forced prostitutes are really just jealous girls who turn their boyfriends over to the police after he went with another girl. Or, they are so ashamed about making the choice of working in the sex industry that they tell others they had been forced to do it.

Also, my strong suspicion is, after reading through much material about the Dutch sex industry that the supposed forced prostitutes are mainly Eastern European, African or are young Dutch women who work in window prostitution. Avoid these groups and you can assure yourself of having a very small chance of encountering a forced prostitute.

Also knowing that working in prostitution doesn't have any negative effects on your emotional well-being, I decided that perhaps I could just go to a brothel and enjoy myself. Why not?

This overturns the whole purpose of my blog, so I should really think what I should do with it.

Perhaps the motto of the blog should be: "musings of a Dutch punter who can't find girlfriend and who is sexually frustrated and goes to prostitutes and is afraid that girl is forced, but now knows how to avoid forced girls"

Something like that.

Or : "musings by a Dutch loser, who can't find a girlfriend, decided to visit prostitutes, discovered that some prostitutes are forced, wanted to avoid forced prostitutes, discovered that all prostitutes are forced, thought he could change the world, wanted to warn the world about the Dutch sex industry, doubted about his initial conclusions, starts to visit prostitutes again, and concludes that sex is rape, and describes in detail his adventures with prostitutes."

Something like that.

I think I will use that.

But to turn again to the idea that sex is rape. Do I really believe that? No, I don't. But, I'm disappointed about casual sex. I do believe that sex without intimacy must be very boring. Perhaps sex combined with kissing and cuddling would be nice. I do feel that fucking the one you love doggystyle is really embarassing, let alone a prostitute. Just like masturbating inside another person's body. Really demeaning. So I have to think about this when I visit prostitutes again. Problem is, that this is the only position I can manage. Or she sits on top of me, but I noticed that some prostitutes have difficulties with this position because it is to physically demanding for them.

Furthermore, I wanted to say something again. I do get angry messages from people who believe that working in prostitution is very traumatizing. I just have to keep on stressing that this is simply not true. For evidence, go to this post:
no link between working in prostitution and stress

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Happy happy joy!

Main

I couldn't help it!

I was in trance!

Suddenly I found myself in a club in Amsterdam. The club was more expensive than I thought. You have to pay 300 Euros for an hour.

I was very nervous as usual. My bowels kept troubling me. I sat behind a bar sipping a beer. There were three women in the bar. The club had justed opened their doors before I went in. We were the only ones there except for the barkeeper. It was theme-night that evening: playboy-night. In this case the women had bunny ears on their heads and bunny tails on their behinds. They asked me if these were okay. I found them nice, but the ears looked a bit cheapish, like plastic. These things turned out to have been bought that very same day.

The barkeeper told me that the women weren't allowed to go towards me, I had to do that myself, or signal the barkeeper. I went over and sat next to a Dutch women aged 29. She was very friendly. She offered me to drink champagne. Those bottles would have cost me 200 Euro, 500 Euro, etc.... I refused. I immediately asked I we could go upstairs. She said she would be very happy! After I paid, I asked to go to the toilet first. She said there's one in the rooms anyway, so I could go there.

I was very nervous. When we went into the room I stumbled over a platform which was part of the large bath-tub. I went to the toilet and I noticed that my intestines were stuck, and nothing came out! :( Oh what the hell.

She talked animatedly. She found me very nervous and shy. Almost like a 17-year-old boy. We went into the bath tub. It took ages before it was full. I think it takes an hour before it is really completely full. We stayed in the bath tub for a while and talked a lot. She asked me about girlfriends and such, and was surprised that I never had one. She said she has a new boyfriend and proudly showed a tattoo on her leg with his name on it. I said: "then you must be really in love!". :D

She has been active in the sex industry for a very long time, 11 years. In the past also on the Zandpad in Utrecht, later in Yab Yum. She asked me if I liked kinky stuff, like anal toys on me. For 50 Euro extra she lets herself be licked on the pussy. I didn't want that.

When we left the bath-tub and went to bed. She warned me to be careful not to slip. That sometimes happens, although she said that she wished that to happen to some men. She also warned me not to become startled because of the Jaccuzi which could suddenly blow after a while.

She first gave me a blowjob. My bowels became active again! The sex was boring as usual. I just cannot get into it. The only thing I like is doggystyle, which was nice, but there's no real difference with just masturbating and thinking about fucking doggystyle. She warned me to be careful, because she hadn't worked for a week. She is tighter then. Doggystyle is difficult for her, because the male organ can enter very deeply and bump against her uterus, that hurts a lot! I said to her that many women are afraid to tell their boyfriends or husbands when they feel pain. She told me that she always says it when she feels pain.

I stroked the area just above her behind, while doing doggystyle. She said that tickled. I asked about the white spot on her lower back. She told me that's because of the sunbed. That's the spot where she lies on, so the bloodflow is lesser in that area which causes it to become less brown than the rest of her body. She didn't like me touching that area, so she offered me to fuck her with me on top and her on her back. I also asked her what she actually feels when men fuck her. She said that honestly she only feels something when she is fucked by her boyfriend. She found it funny that we were talking while we were fucking. At the end we went to doggystyle again. The Jacuzzi went on again, and this time it was she who had a fright!

After we were done we dressed up again, and she put back on her bunny ears. She again asked if they looked well! I told her that this must be very important to her! We went to the bar-area again and we talked for a long while. That was very nice. Some girls listened to our conversation. Some men came in and they turned out to know each other. She said to me: "partners in crime!"

After a while we hugged and then she went to sit somewhere else so she could give the impression to men she was free. I stayed in the club for a while. Just sightseeing. I could see other women come into the bar. Also some clients, but they didn't do much except to talk to each other. And then I left and I was escorted to the door by her and the barkeeper. The barkeeper said something like: "see you next time, boy".

Later I found out that only a third of what you pay in that club goes to the women. That isn't very different from the poor camgirls who usually only get a quarter. On the other, this could be simply solved by bringing in some extra 100 Euro cash. That way it will become 50%-50%.

It seems that I have really become the average punter! Perpaps I should be happy with it. :) But I should keep my bank account in check.

And I notice that the best part of visiting a prostitute is simply to talk. Sex is nice, but boring. I really begin to wonder, if there aren't ways to talk to women without paying 300 Euro?! I have to figure this out.

Talking to women is really nice!

But I already knew that.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Review: John Davies

Main

And now, a new book review.

‘My name is not Natasha’ - How Albanian Women in France Use Trafficking to Overcome Social Exclusion (1998-2001)
written by John Davies (Amsterdam University Press, Amsterdam 2009)

You can download it here:
http://dare.uva.nl/document/138910

I have read this book from start to finish. John Davies has thoroughly researched several dozens of Albanian prostitutes who work the streets of Lyon, in the period between 1998 and 2001. Although it doesn’t pertain to prostitution in the Netherlands, it could give some basic ideas how at least some forced prostitution works. There never have been many Albanian prostitutes in the Netherlands, but in Belgium close by, there have been a great number there, and Patsy Sörensen and Chris de Stoop can attest to that.

The research methods of John Davies are daring, you might even wonder if he shouldn’t have warned the police more often, but because the local police often treat the women very badly (seeing them mainly as illegal immigrants who should be expelled as soon as possible), he made the decision not to involve them too much.

The research by John Davies is unique in its kind in that I have never read about a researcher who has so closely and so thoroughly followed a group of women who were clearly being coerced or heavily emotionally manipulated to work in prostitution. Mostly stories by forced prostitutes are told after the ordeal was over, and there is no verification by other sources. So, basically, how painful that may seem, everybody can make up a story how he or she was forced to work in prostitution in the past. The case has even been made that prostitutes simply tell these stories because they are so ashamed that they do this work that they tell others they have been forced to do this, or that jealous prostitutes denounce their adulterous boyfriend to the police as human traffickers.

But John Davies’ research is different. He could follow the prostitutes over a long period of time, and while talking to the women he could also back up their stories, most importantly by also interviewing the men who escorted the women. And what the women tell and what the men tell doesn’t contradict each other.

John Davies divides the women into two groups. The ‘married’ women, and the ‘divorced’ women (it must be noted that married and divorced in Albania doesn’t necessarily mean that this happened officially).

The married women and their relationship with their lovers looks a lot like what we in the Netherlands call the relationship between some Dutch prostitutes and their ‘loverboys’. The women often believe that they will build a future together with their lovers by working in prostitution, not knowing or realizing that they have been tricked and that their lover spends the money on other things like gambling and cars and that he hangs out with other women or even has other women working in prostitution for him, who also believe that they are building up a future with him by working in prostitution. It is striking that John Davies explains this phenomenon by pointing towards the patriarchal culture in Albania which only appoints a certain status to a woman within a married relationship with a man, and in which violence is seen as normal. In this, prostitution was seen by the Albanian women as merely fulfilling the legitimate purpose of providing for the needs of the family. The men could use a system of control where they let the women keep an eye on each other and report news to them. This control was very effective, the men didn’t have to be with the women 100% of the time. I have heard and read about this system used by pimps. It could also explain why you see relatively so few suspicious men in the window prostitution areas in the Netherlands, although it could be that they monitor the women from indoors or by walking around and acting like tourists or clients.

The divorced women are somewhat older women who became socially excluded in Albania, mainly because of their divorce and consequent expulsion by the family. These women wanted to escape this situation by leaving Albania by every means possible. These women heard about Albanian women who were forced to work in prostitution abroad, and so they reasoned, if that’s the way to leave Albania than this is a reasonable solution, so they approached human traffickers. Generally these women hope to eventually escape the human traffickers and find a local man that they can marry. I believe that these women turn the whole idea of consent on its head. You would think that nobody consents to be exploited in forced labour or be tortured or raped, but it turns out that if one is desperate everything goes. The control that the men had over the divorced women was not as strong compared to the married women, because the women didn’t trust these men in the first place. Usually they worked on a 50%-50% contract basis. John Davies explains (on page 68) that:
the per cent contract was a bonded-labour contract supposedly agreed to for a certain period of time. However, the contracts were subject to varied reinterpretation by the [men], who would often demand extortionate interest on sums supposedly owed because minimum payments had not been made. The [men] would also demand extension of the contracts if they arbitrarily decided that they had not received adequate compensation during the agreed period of the contract. As such the non-wives were clearly being constrained into a forced labour situation, which made them trafficked people; the wives did not have such contracts as their remittances to the [men] were dictated by the obligation conditional to their marriage.
John Davies noticed that in the beginning of his research, the married women were in the majority. But the women slowly realized their situation, that they were merely being tricked, and they slowly set themselves free from these men. Gradually divorced women exceeded the married women in numbers.

It is difficult to say if the Albanian women researched by John Davies are representative to all forced prostitutes. I hear an echo in a TAMPEP report (TAMPEP – final report – June 95/June 96) of a long time ago. I like to quote extensively from that TAMPEP-report (this quote pertaining to mainly window prostitution areas in the Netherlands):
The women are brought up in a traditional patriarchal society where the man is the dominant factor. At the same time, communism has given women the opportunity and access to a higher education. In fact, in Poland for example, there are more women with a tertiary education than men. So, if the financial need arises, they often take the initiative to look for new chances, but due to the poor economic state of their home countries, many of the more ambitious women leave for the West and consequently end up in the sex-business because prostitutes are always in high demand everywhere. At the same time, the women stay psychologically dependent upon men, because their emancipation is not a result of a long process of gaining independence and becoming self-assertive but actually restricts itself only to the professional field. This is why Polish, Ukrainian and Russian women are almost always in the power of pimps (in most cases their own countrymen) and why they so often depend upon others to the extent that they become victims of trafficking or other forms of exploitation by these men.
Another reason why the East European women are so often victims of trafficking is their total naïvetée and blindness. It seems that these persons did not have much opportunity to develop any self-defence mechanism. The housing shortage forces many youngsters to stay with their parents, thus blocking the way to independence. This way they lead overprotected lives and may not be able to experience the harsh facts of their culture. [you can see a more complete quote in the post about Eastern European prostitutes]
John Davies’ study shows there is some truth in the idea that human trafficking is caused by governments treating immigrants as criminals. So perhaps the social exclusion can be lessened by legalizing immigration, which could weaken the grip of people who want to exploit immigrants.

More discoveries: Albanian women falsely claiming to be Kosovar refugees and thus gaining status as asylum seekers. And, real victims of human trafficking making up stories of human trafficking and then denouncing a fictitious pimp to the police! And, victims of human trafficking wanting to avoid special shelters for victims of human trafficking because they want to avoid being known as prostitutes.

I can end my book review by citing endless quotes, but everyone can download the book for free anyway, so read it ..... and weep (!).

I catch myself that I seem happy after reading this book. I was right all along! (or there is a tacit believe within me that women can never choose to work in prostitution or like sex in the first place)

So, after all, there is human trafficking, even after extensive research on a specific group of prostitutes. I think that John Davies’ could also fully explain once again why victims of human trafficking are hardly found by police inspectors and researchers. The simple answer is: the prostitutes see the human traffickers as their friends, so, obviously they won’t denounce them or tell bad stories about them .... after a one-hour interview.

But I knew this all along.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Review: Linda

Main

Lately a book came out called Wie is er bang voor Linda - bekentenissen van een SM-meesteres [Linda - confessions of a dominatrix] written by Linda and Ruth Kolba (2010).

It is a very sad story. Hopefully, an exception within the world of prostitution.

She is a jewish woman born in 1969. She started working in the sex industry at age fourteen (so that must have been around 1983-1984). She actually came from a rich family. But it was a broken family. Father was not there, mother was not nice to her, and her aunt and uncle were rich and made sure they got all they needed. She lived in a very protected environment. Her sister also worked in prostitution starting very young, she was a heroin addict who later in life unfortunately became infected with HIV.

Linda at first worked in window prostitution, and much later also in several clubs. In the clubs she started to do SM, which gradually became her speciality. She later started to work in window prostitution again, and after this, in her own home.

To me it is always interesting when I buy a book written by a prostitute, what the prostitute tells about the world she lives in. For some strange reason I always hope that they will tell negative stories. Perhaps because in my mind women are innocent or sacred, and cannot possibly like sex. I'm a real hypocrite now, because I visit prostitutes again nowadays.

And yes, my sad wishes are confirmed, Linda confirms all the horrible stereotypes about Dutch brothels and Dutch prostitutes. First of all (page 14) she confirms what has been said often by prostitutes, that (translated from Dutch) "when you are behind a window as a new girl, you are immediately approached by pimps. They think something like: 'Hey, that is a beautiful girl. That one should work for me.' This approaching goes in a nice way. Not what you would expect. They want to take you home, tell jokes, give you presents, and more of these things. That's how it begins. A pimp infiltrates in your life in a very shrewd way. They make you dependent. They help you with little things. Until you cannot do without them anymore.'

She has worked in several clubs (all before 1999, after which she started to work behind windows again). She names the Satyricon in Amsterdam (owned at that time by Willem Holleeder and Cor van Hout, later it became the Club Mayfair), the Princess and the Yab Yum (owned by Theo Heuft at first, then by the Hells Angels, and then it was shut down). She also confirms that there is an excessive use of cocaine in clubs (page 79): "Also at the Princess you couldn't work when you didn't sniff [coke]. It could, but then you didn't earn anything, then nobody went upstairs with you. Also here the manager sold coke from behind the bar. Or there was a house dealer. So those blokes earned double on the girls. On average per evening you bought two to four grams of coke. Simply for the full price. It was really a beastly mess."

About the Satyricon she tells that (page 57): "regularly we were so sniffed up [by coke] that we didn't want to leave the dressing-room anymore. Then we sat there with all these girls. The manager called: 'Come on ladies, now to work. There is a client.' We couldn't stop laughing."

About the Satyricon again (page 69-70): "During these evenings I was always totally under influence. When I close my eyes this period is like a dream. Everything evolved around using drugs. I stood up during the afternoon and already rolled my first joint so to speak. During the evening I sniffed one line of coke after another. That had to be, or else you weren't allowed to work in the Satyricon. The manager sold it himself. You hade to use coke together with the client. That was an unwritten rule. I remember that girls who didn't want to sniff [coke] were forced to leave within no time. Also in other clubs this is commonplace. All these girls had to sniff coke, else you can't keep up [doing this work]. Only in the Yab Yum coke above the counter wasn't allowed."

At one point (before she worked in clubs), she was out of prostitution for a period of time, when she stopped using coke, and then returned to working behind windows (that must have been around mid nineties). She tells (page 53): "That first time behind a window again, what a feeling. I'll never forget it. My first client was a true nightmare. A dirty and completely drunk guy. As if it couldn't get any worse, the condom also ripped apart. A terrible experience. I hadn't been doing this for over ten years. At one blow I was back in my old life: panick, nerves, pimps who approached me. That particular evening I used coke for the first time in a long time. That's how it goes in this world. It is expected from you that you join in with a couple of lines [of coke]."

So, these are very nasty stories. But I knew that already. It is also confirmed in this post on my blog. Even Jo Doezema tells about the heavy drug use in clubs, that there were more drug addicts in sex clubs than in street prostitution, and that clubs were really just fronts for drug trafficking.

But, maybe the situation has changed for the better now. This reports gives a more positive image:
De sociale positie van prostituees 2006 (Dekker, H., Tap, R., Homburg, G., WODC, Regioplan Beleidsonderzoek, 2006)

If you look at table 5.1 (page 47), it turns out that 5% of the prostitutes use hard drugs. Prostitutes in clubs and privéhuizen use more often. Prostitutes in window prostitution, escort and massage parlour use less. There's another website which shows how many children aged 12-19 regularly use hard drugs:
Druggebruik, hoeveel mensen gebruiken drugs? (nationaal kompas volksgezondheid).
That percentage is 2.3% for boys, and 1.3% for girls. The prostitutes are above that. But in my opinion, this is not dramatic. Actually, the level of drug use by prostitutes look like those of people in special groups. Like people who visit cafés or trendy clubs. Look at table 3.3 (page 67) of this report about coke use:
Nationale drugsmonitor - jaarbericht 2009 (Trimbos-instituut, Utrecht, 2010)

It is like, 14% of visitors of trendy clubs who regularly use coke, 12% of visitors of festivals, 6% of visitors of the catering industry, etc..... So the prostitutes really don't stand out!

Perhaps it is really getting better in the Dutch sex industry. Or it is getting worse in the rest of society.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Is it getting better? At least in Belgium it seems

There is a bit of an information vacuum last months about prostitution in the Netherlands, especially regarding forced prostitution. I hope this signals a drop in the number of cases. But fortunately, there is some news from Belgium, and Belgium is very closeby, so perhaps this tells us something about the Netherlands. And it indeed seems to be the case that the relationship between prostitutes and the ones who escort them seems to be getting better, less violence, more money for the prostitutes, etc....... I hope this situation will improve further. I will show some links to reports about prostitution in Belgium, and give some Dutch to English translated quotes (I hope I will not provoke the ire of Ruth Hopkins again!). The articles are mainly about Het Schipperskwartier, a red light district in Antwerp which has recently been modernized. The prostitution neighbourhood was made smaller, so many windows had to relocate to three streets only. The window brothels are now also better and cleaner.

Achter de schermen in het Antwerpse Schipperskwartier (De Standaard, September 19 2009, Ruth Hopkins)
Patsy Sörensen, sees from her little office in de Leguit, lying right next to the prostitution triangle, the Balkan men appear in the district. "In the past it was a mess. Now the women work under much better circumstances, especially considering hygiene. But that is a wafer-thin top layer. I know what's going on underneath that. Bulgarian, Turkish, Albanian and Hungarian men come here to put their women to work. Their methods have changed. They don't batter the women, it is much more ingenious. They give the women just enough money so that they keep on working and keep on thinking that they are independent."

"Well, can you call it human trafficking then," wonders Jef Swartelé, investigator at the Federale Politie [Federal Police]. "I know the types to whom Sörensen refers to, but the Bulgarian women who come here, do they work involuntarily? Yes, they cede more than half of their income. That is not fair, but is it also criminal? Human trafficking is hard to proof."

(...)

The federal police reports that they try to track down possible pimps. On average forty investigations are running at this moment into human trafficking in the sex industry in the city of Antwerpen.

A large segment of these forty investigations aim at Bulgarian, Albanian and Romanian men who establish themselves in the city. They help 'girlfriends' with finding a window, bring them and collect them from and to work, to subsequently play card aimlessly in the many little cafes in the neighbourhood. "Those men profit from the work of the women. Indeed, like Sörensen notices correctly, the methods are sophisticated, the exploitation is more subtle. But we can do very little if the criminal law hasn't been violated and so at least legally there is no human trafficking," says Swartelé. "The Matroesjka [Belgian TV-series about forced prostitution] stories that you hear and see on tv: so bad it is not in the neighbourhood." Anna Vercauteren, coordinator of the health house for prostitutes Gh@pro, agrees with this analysis. "The image must be nuanced. Not every woman who works her, is forced. We know that some women work under a pimp and we often ask ourselves questions about certain situations, but we actually don't get many signals of exploitation and threats."
Several other highlights from the same article above: a male-to-female transsexual who was forced to work by women (!), and a prostitute who complains that business is slack because of the negative news about human trafficking which causes men not to visit prostitutes. Same is happening in the Netherlands! Business is slack!

Patsy Sörensen: "De pooiers doen weer waar ze zin in hebben" (November 4 2008, gva.be)
"I see these men here every day: Turks, Albanians, Russians, Romanians, you name it", says Sörensen. According to her Antwerp uses their local agents - "the eyes and ears of the policy" - too little in the battle against illegal prostitution. According to the former Agalev-politician the prostitutes have documents which are or seem to be in order, and so one concludes that everything is in order. "But there is a system behind it. Girls who come here, are at work for a couple of months and then disappear without a trace, to another city, or another country."

Gentlemen's suits

"Pimps play it differently now. They don't walk in jogging suits anymore but in gentlemen's suits. They are polite and friendly. They are business men who are coincidentally active in the sex branche", so says Sörensen. She now is active as an expert for a working group against human trafficking of the European Commission.
Patsy Sörensen: 'Prostituees dachten dat ze in een sprookje zaten' (Het Nieuwsblad, July 31 2008)

http://marcverhaegen.blogspot.com/2007/11/patsy-sorensen-over-loverboys-de.html

Prostitution: The Skin Trade (Jun. 21, 1993, Time, By MARGOT HORNBLOWER PARIS;Nomi Morris/Berlin, Anita Pratap/Bombay, Susanna M. Schrobsdorf/Brussels and James Wilde/Istanbul, with other bureaus)

Prostitutie in tijden van globalisering en recessie Deel 14: België – De Antwerpse straten zijn te schoon (Petra De Koning, August 13 2010, NRC)
link to official website
"The shootings, the way the neighbourhood was impassible, that's all gone", says [prostitution official] Willems. "But you don't hear me say that there are no pimps anymore and that we have stopped exploitation. The circulation among prostitutes is big. After three or four months they are gone, so there certainly is organisation behind that. But the real poignant cases have been removed."

Anna Vercauteren of the health centre Gh@pro says that she doesn't hear prostitutes complain. "I think that they all want a clean room." Also Solange Cluydts of the organisation for victim of human trafficking Payoke, says that the prostitutes in the Schipperskwartier are now better off. "The pimps are less violent, and the women are allowed to keep a large part of their income, they don't live so isolated anymore." Criminal gangs have sent prostitutes to other houses in other cities. In Antwerp Payoke does discover victims of human trafficking in massage parlours, especially from Thailand.
Oh, I wanted to mention that the following book is really cool, I'm reading it now!:

‘My Name Is Not Natasha’ How Albanian Women in France Use Trafficking to Overcome Social Exclusion (1998-2001)(John Davies, 2009)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Eternal Damnation

Main

I must conclude that I am a really really wicked person.

I couldn't help it.

I suddenly found myself on De Wallen in Amsterdam.

In trance.

The nights before I couldn't stop dreaming about having sex with one of these beautiful young girls.

I walked there.

Lots of beautiful young girls there.

Two lovely young gypsy girls greeted me, and said "hallo" (in Dutch) to me!
I smiled, and greeted "hallo" back, and they had to laugh about that!
That I said "hallo" back.

All these young black-haired Eastern European girls are all too enticing. No lack of them!

My conscience jumped into action, and I headed to the other Red Light District (Oude Nieuwstraat). There I found a 29-years-old German sex worker. I was very frightened, because I thought at first she was Eastern European.

When I was inside, my conscience jumped into action again, and I wanted to flee. I was very scared, I wanted to tell her I wanted to leave, that I made a mistake. But I calmed down.

She lives in the Netherlands since 5 years ago. At first she worked on De Wallen. She complained to me that other German girls often cheat on clients. First negotiating, then receiving money, and then doing nothing. She told me that clients were often very weary towards her when she told them she was German.

In a previous post I told that prostitutes often feel pain because clients often fuck so roughty. I have a very simple solution to that: fuck softly.

As for the rest. I cannot repeat more often that I actually find sex really boring. So I'm wondering more and more what I'm actually doing here. It's becoming more like a compulsive disorder. Doing something what I don't like and what I feel guilty about.

I also feel pity for all these couples who have sex everyday. That must be so boring. First blowjob, then man on top, then doggystyle, then woman on top, then doggystyle, then orgasm. Ready. Sleep.

The only positive thing is the facial contact. The sex worker did this very well, keeping eye contact with me while having sex, and smiling at me. That was really cool.

Perhaps this is what sex is all about, keeping eye contact with each other and smiling.

At the end she was surprised I didn't have a bag with me.

She always has a bag with her.

So she can put the things in there that she has bought.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Angels and Devils

Main

I have read the book Sex Signals - the Biology of Love written by Timothy Perper and released in 1986 by the Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI Pr).

I am very enthusiastic about the book. It can explain why I never had a girlfriend. The answer is not that I don't approach women, because in reality it is they who approach me! The reality is, as it turns out, I don't answer women's signals. So, the truth is that it is not so that only men approach women and that women are passive because millions of men want to spread their semen so women simply have to wait for the semen to come along. The truth according to Timothy Perper is, it is rather the other way around. Women do approach men more often than men approach women. He could conclude that by observing in bars. (Only, I wonder, if it's true that women are very critical, shouldn't they mainly approach the alpha males, with the most superior genes? Perper's book doesn't answer that question.)

Also what's very interesting is his attack on what he calls 'ethno-biology', the myth that what is caused by nature produces always the same results. In his opinion nature means diversity. So we shouldn't look strange that people have very diverse systems of courting. The only thing necessary is that people reproduce. And that can be done in a million ways.

He discovered that if you ask men and women about how to seduce the other sex, women tend to tell about the courtship phase, and men tend to skip the courtship phase and immediately start talking about foreplay, while women skip the part about sex. As if men and women have their own tasks: women deal with courtship and men deal with sex (this once again proves to me that women aren't that interested in sex).

So, women approach men and starts sending signals to them. This could be done in a very concealed way; by just standing close to him. Then she judges him by his responses. His respones to her overtures must be right. If she stands next to him, he must talk to her. If she slightly moves her face to his, he must do the same. If she touches him, he should do something like that too. If he gives a negative response, or no response, that could be a sign for her to back off. When sex finally comes, the woman lets the man take over (I can imagine that the man lets loose everything he has learned from pornography and that the woman passively goes along with it, which explains why so many women experience pain during sex. However, Timothy Perper didn't describe sexual rituals in his book in great depth).

What I also interesting is that Perper blames people in general and also specifically scientist that they split the world in two; some parts belong to the world of the profane, other parts to the world of the sacred. The world of the profane must not spoil the world of the sacred. He explains that people generally see men as belonging to the normal world. And women are supposed to be holy. That's why women belong only in one place, home, because sacred objects are usually secluded in one place, like in a temple. And this view explains according to Perper why many people treat sex so carefully and why women should be protected from that. Because women are sacred and cannot be spoiled by filthy things like men. He explains that this is why many people believe that men are the monsters or devils who have a lust for sex which cannot be tamed, and why women are supposed to be careful about sex. And that's why women who have had sex with men become spoiled, and turn into vixens or whores (the same is true for women who walk outside). Except within the sanctity of marriage.

I absolutely agree with this view. Men are demons and women are goddesses. You just don't have sex with a goddess. When I think about it, I never thought about sex with the woman or girl I was in love with. It makes sense to me now, the woman is sacred! It also explains my desperate struggle to proof that women cannot possibly have sexual feelings anymore than young children do (because women and young children have comparable levels of testosterone in their blood, contrary to men who have lots of that: testosterone, the hormone of Satan), and as a matter of fact, it also explains partly why I so eagerly want to proof that forced prostitution is not uncommon! A child doesn't have sexual feelings - a child is innocent - a woman is innocent - a woman doesn't have sexual feelings.

I have always said that if you respect a woman, you absolutely don't think about having sex with her. (And I don't believe in marriage. Intercourse is not necessary for reproduction.)

It makes sense, it absolutely makes sense.

Angels and devils.

Innocence and guilt.

That's why I feel so guilty any time I visit sex workers, in my feelings I desecrate somebody that is holy.

I have to stress that I am completely and totally NOT religious!!!

I have an offer: I propose that humanity strives for a world without SEX. With sex I mean: porn, fucking, degradation, domination, intercourse, blowjobs, anal sex, grabbing tits etc..... I don't want to abolish intimacy, like: stroking hair, kissing, caressing, loving, cuddling, looking in each others eyes etc...... Sex ain't necessary for procreation. All you need is a device where a man can put his semen, and which the woman can use to insert the semen into her vagina. That's all.

And let's do away with marriage also. I believe that women are still sacred when they are penetrated outside the sanctity of marriage. Women are ALWAYS sacred. No matter what. Also sex workers.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Pain

Main

Lately Lately I wondered how prostitutes deal with pain, because many women in general experience pain during sex. I realized that I knew the answer all along! I just have to dig in my memory better. And here it is:

I never thought this would happen to me - Prostitution and traffic in Latin American women in The Netherlands (Fanny Polanía Molina and Marie-Louise Janssen, 1998). Thérèse van der Helm is interviewed in this book. She worked for the Area Health Authority (GG&GD) in Amsterdam as an assistent responsible for the prevention of venereal diseases among prostitutes. I quote her (page 69):

As to the health situation, that's satisfactory, so the women can go on with their work as usual. However, they often complain about pains. When asked how exactly they have sex, they reply that they do it in ten minutes for 12.50 dollars. Those are very fast screws indeed: legs upright in the air, while the customer is banging about, finished in ten minutes. Anybody would be affected by stomach pain, undoubtedly. They ought to do it with their legs down, being the woman, the one who determines the rhythm. Because as soon as the woman feels pain in her stomach, she thinks she has contracted a venereal disease and starts taking antibiotics, that are for sale everywhere. But that's not necessary; it's just because they are doing it so roughly. That's why we say to them: legs down when you are having sex! They all complain of pains in the abdomen, without any certainty that it's to do with an infection, but simply backache. But apart from that, they're healthy enough to keep on doing their job.

Okay, according to van der Helm all prostitutes have pain in the abdomen. So that's the answer! They all have pain.

Now I have to reconsider my decision of visiting prostitutes again. I was too focused on human trafficking. In my opinion it is not good to hurt a person. And having sex with a prostitute will almost certainly hurt the prostitute. Perhaps the Golden Rule should be applied here: "one should not treat others in ways one would not like to be treated". So, I don't want others to inflict pain on me, so I shouldn't do that to others.

That means not visiting prostitutes.

Visiting prostitutes is BAD.

I am a really bad man. :'(

I will not visit prostitutes again.

(I have to notice that what Therésè van der Helm says about that nearly all prostitutes complain about pain only refers to windows prostitutes who at that time received a large number of clients per day. Nowadays this number is much lower, and above all, for prostitutes in clubs the number of clients per day is more like 1-3. Perhaps pain for these women is less of a problem. But, better be safe then sorry. For now, I don't visit prostitutes anymore.)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Dark Side

Main

Lately, I acted out my plan of visiting the sex work place that I ogled earlier.

When I entered the sex work place, it turned out to be very well visited that evening, and only one sex worker was left for me, which luckily turned out to be the sex worker I ogled earlier when I watched the sex work place website. Because the sex work place was so well visited, no rooms were left, so we had to wait. That was interesting because I could see other sex workers enter the living room. Sometimes they looked at me, with a look of contempt.

Then came the time when a room was vacant, and the sex worker that I chose and I could go to that room. From the beginning it was immediately clear that the sex worker didn't like me at all. She treated me with disdain. I thought: "oh-ooooh".

Hardly a glance was granted to me. She remained silent. I asked from which city she came. She came from The Hague. She by the way was Dutch and I estimate her age to be roughly 30.

Above the bed was a television which played sex work films from the local sex work channel ('Private Spice'). These films were supposed to stimulate the sex work in me. She asked me if I wanted poppers. I refused. She asked me if I wanted a blowjob without condom. I have to admit that I considered it, because under normal conditions I'm against this. When she said that this costed 50 Euros extra, I declined. I asked her if she didn't find this dangerous, she said that this was no more dangerous than licking.

Despite being treated with disdain, I can say that I haven't had better sex in my life. It was very funny, because I was in a constant state of orgasm. She had the hottest body, and above all, the hottest ass. Sex-working her doggystyle and to be inside her was awesome. When we switched to the missionary position I was delighted because for the first time I could actually do it. I had an orgasm when she was on top of me.

After this, the sex worker asked with an edgy voice if I wanted a drink THIS TIME (which I refused earlier on), which was okay for me, and she brought me a drink. Then she gave me a massage.

With a kiss I left.

This event left me with mixed feelings. On the one hand I was treated badly. This sex worker doesn't like her work at all. On the other hand, I have had the best sex in my life!!!!! Sex can be cool after all!!!!

I think I have to reverse my idea that having porn with a sex worker is the same as having sex with your lover. The difference at least is that your lover doesn't despise you (I hope). I must admit, that I finally have joined the dark side, that is the pro-sex work position. This is the position which defends the idea that it is okay to do the most horrendous things to a person, as long as that person made the unfortunate mistake of consenting to undergo these things. I can't help it, I'm a very bad person. :'(

I think I will continue visiting sex workers.

But now for something completely different. It is about the discovery I made some time ago that sex for women who don't do sex work can be a pain in the ass too!!!

Dutch sexologist (read: pornologist) Rick van Lunsen gave an interview to HP/De Tijd (16 July 2010). What he says shows that Kathleen Barry is right in saying that the line between sex between lovers, sex between sex workers and rape is blurring. Actually it doesn't matter if you have sex with a sex worker, because your lover suffers too ...... in silence :'( . I translate a part of the interview in Dutch:
What is the influence of feminism on the sexual experience of the modern woman?
"Good question, because I worry a lot about women. They have the inclination as a lover to strive towards a perfection that is not good. They ignore themselves completely to seemingly be able to sexually function perfectly. They let their labia be made smaller, shave off each little hair, and God knows what else they do. Only to satisfy their lover."
Isn't that allowed then?
"Yes, but it becomes strange when you sacrifice your own sexual development to the wishes of the other. 57 percent of all girls aged 15 to 25 years often or always have pain during sexual intercourse. So they don't get aroused, their vaginas don't lubricate. Then intercourse is a painful matter."
Remarkable.
"Yes, because they read magazines that weekly write about relationships and about sex, they are brought up by mothers who have been born in the middle of the sexual revolution. You would expect that these girls know what they want and how."
From what kinds of environments do these girls come from?
"The complaint about pain during intercourse you often see among young, white, highly educated girls. Whole year classes I get on my consulting-hours"
You mean the hockey girls, the girls from the students' corps?
"Precisely, these"
But how come that they are so submissive then?
"They simply don't communicate. Girls don't tell the boys what their wishes are, their boundaries and their desires. And boys hardy ever ask about that. Apparently both haven't learned that from home."


By the way, it seems to be that he exaggerates a little bit. The number 57% of women aged 15-25 who often or always have pain during intercourse should in reality be 11% (if you read the original report). 57% in total feel pain during sex, often or sometimes. The source is page 63 of:
Seks onder je 25e - Seksuele gezondheid van jongeren in Nederland anno 2005 (Hanneke de Graaf, Suzanne Meijer, Jos Poelman, Ine Vanwesenbeeck, 2005)

I wonder how sex workers cope with pain during sex with their clients, because if many normal young women struggle with pain during intercourse then the same must be true for sex workers.

Another interesting piece of data from the same report (page 108): (of boys and girls younger than 25) 1% of the girls and 2% of the boys have been paid for sex. 57% of the girls who were paid for sex (8 of every 1000 girls) had been forced or persuaded to do this and 14% came to the idea themselves. 30% of the boys who were paid for sex came to the idea themselves and of 53% of the boys somebody else came to the idea but they liked it anyway. In total 4 of every 1000 boys have been forced or persuaded to be paid for sex. And regarding forced sex in general (page 108): 4,2% of the boys have forced and 17.8% of the girls have been forced to have sex once. These numbers rise to 4,6% and 24,7% for boys and girls respectively in the age group 21-24.

The sample in this report contained 2382 boys and 2439 girls. So, it must be noticed that 8 out of 1000 girls (who are forced or pushed) means 20 girls, so that means 34 girls in total who have been paid for sex. For boys these numbers are 10 boys who are pushed. The numbers are not big, so the large percentage who are forced or pushed could be a coincidence. But still very interesting! It is another proof to me that forced prostitution is not a myth.

I'm wondering more and more if visiting prostitutes was a bad idea after all. :'(

(Believe me, I know what I'm doing, I only visit Dutch prostitutes who don't work in window prostitution, because forced Dutch prostitutes are heavily concentrated in window prostitution. So I visit Dutch prostitutes who work in clubs)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Column 2

Main

Anonymous has written a comment which I found so well-written that I decided to post it here, so everybody will read it who visits my site. I don't know if she (he?) is the same anonymous as here. Now her comment:
I agree. I do not believe human trafficking to be a myth, however fashionable this view seems to be becoming. Trafficking exists and pimping and coercion exist, but equally migrant (and domestic) sex workers are not essentially and universally victims in themselves. Some are and will suffer horror; some are not.
That all prostitutes are victims by definition, I believe is not correct.

I have not read anything by Jo Doezema, but Laura Agustín’s assertion that trafficking and pimping are so rare as to be of no significance, is wrong.
Agustín writes with a clarity and lucidity rare in this field, and much of what she says is believable and resonant. Her insistence that the sex industry is highly diverse, and that its entrants whether migrant or local bring their own goals and desires rather than simply being passive, is important. Her assertion that some women choose to sell sex and choose to remain in prostitution as the best option open to them, I find persuasive.
It is not an easy choice for most women to enter sex work, but an individual woman might consider it the best option as a solution to her problems. Undoubtedly, more money can be earned selling sex than most jobs open to a migrant, many of which are very low paid and also (but differently) exploitative.

Further, Agustín raises important issues and conflicts of interest in what she terms the “rescue industry”. Some organisations exploit “sex trafficking” and its impact in the media for their own abolitionist ends. This inbuilt distortion has manifested itself in a number of unbalanced reports, and in the claim that sex trafficking is a universal experience for all sex workers.
Counterbalancing these are the academic reports prepared by pro-legalisation activists, which dismiss trafficking and coercion. These reports too are often little more than tools of political lobbying. There is much conflicting evidence…

Agustín seems to see attempts to control prostitution as the repression of individualism. But individualism is a harsh process, with winners and losers. Her “caveat emptor” approach to migration seems hard indeed.

In seeking to dispel the myth of prostitute women as universal victims of circumstance and far worse, she creates her own myth of universality: that of happy, empowered self-actualising individuals who have taken control of their lives and benefited, where pimping is a thing of the past and trafficking unreal and imagined. She seems content to ignore suffering which is incompatible with this.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Reset

Main

Okay, I lately said that human trafficking was just a myth. That women who say they are forced are just ashamed because of the stigma and then say that they are forced while actually they liked their job and their clients a lot. Or that women who say that they are forced by their boyfriends or husbands are just jealous because he went away with another woman/prostitute and then they say he forced them, while actually that is not true, because they are just jealous.

RESET

Think ...... !

I have to rewind and read again what I wrote myself years ago. That prostitutes will NEVER EVER admit that they are coerced AT THE MOMENT that you ask them. but..... MANY say they have been coerced IN THE PAST.

The funny thing is that over the years the percentage of prostitutes who say they have been coerced in the past is dropping. So in an earlier sample the percentage was over 40% ,then it drops to 29%, then to 23% and then to 8%. And that in a time span of perhaps 20 years.

So there is human trafficking in the Netherlands. And I don't believe that all the women just lie.

Human trafficking is not a myth. Laura Agustín and Jo Doezema are wrong.

There's only no way to find out the true size because prostitutes throw up smoke screens all the time. Is the drop from 30-40% to 8% a sign that human trafficking is decreasing in the Netherlands? No, because it only pertains to group who admit they have been coerced in the past, it doesn't say anything about the total number of prostitutes who ARE coerced at that moment.

Perhaps it's true that coercion in prostiution is becoming less of a problem over the years. But these numbers I gave do prove that at least at on period in time in the Netherlands many prostitutes were affected by it.

As an explantation why a much lower percentage of prostitutes seems to have been coerced nowadays, perhaps the main cause is that men in the Netherlands seem to be visiting prostitutes far less often. It has been noticed often nowadays that there are a lower number of prostitutes in the Netherlands and that they receive a much lower number of clients. While it was not unusual for a window prostitute in the early nineties to receive between 10 and 20 clients a day, this seems to be very rare nowadays. From what I know the average number of clients a prostitute receives per day has halved. So I think there's simply much less to win for wrong-doers who want to force their girlfriend, wife or any other woman in prostitution. Why the hassle if your girlfriend only has one client a day at best, and earns only 40 Euro a day? You might as well force her to work behind a counter then. What the future will bring us I don't know. I hope the situation will further improve, but we'll never now. Perhaps that the prostitution market will improve and more men will visit prostitutes, which will also cause evil pimps to push more women in prostitution.

And ..... I also learned that I desperately need to rewire all the links on my blog, because most went dead. Actually, that's too big of a hassle, so I trust that people can use a search engine and find the reports themselves.

The text after this is from an older post, it is good to reread it:
Dutch prostitutes, drugs and labour conditions
Lets look more carefully at numbers. Numbers don’t lie (I hope). I hold the Scharlaken Koord in high regard. If they say that 87% of the Dutch prostitutes on de Wallen have been forced or manipulated into prostitution, then I believe them. There are other numbers available from different researches, they give a more broader picture of prostitutes in general, other types of prostitutes are researched. The results of these researches yield much lower percentages of the (Dutch) prostitutes who have previously been forced or manipulated into prostitution. I’ll show an example, around the same period the Scharlaken Koord made their sample on de Wallen (in 2002) Liesbeth Venicz and Ine Vanwesenbeeck researched prostitutes in the Netherlands as a whole in the report: Er gaat iets veranderen in de prostitutie (2000, Liesbeth Venicz, Ine Vanwesenbeeck) ['Something is going to change in prostitution']. Almost a quarter of the prostitutes in this research (24 of 105) indicated that they initially had been forced into prostitution (page 19). It has to be admitted though that forced prostitutes (who still worked in prostitution) didn’t want to cooperate with this interview so this estimate is probably an underestimate. They had interviewed 105 female prostitutes of whom 22 worked in window-prostitution. 62 were born in the Netherlands from Dutch parents, 17 were born in the Netherlands from foreign parents, and 26 were born abroad.
Also foreign prostitutes had been interviewed in this research, but they found no strong correlation between forced prostitution and ethnicity or being foreign (but beware that they interviewed only a small number of foreign prostitutes, the Pearson's product-moment correlation coefficient was r=0,09, see table 3.4 on page 22).

Okay, when you compare the quarter of the (Dutch) prostitutes in general with the 87% of the Dutch prostitutes on de Wallen who initially had been forced in prostitution then it becomes clear that it indeed seems to be true that human trafficking is much more common among Dutch prostitutes in window-prostitution than for Dutch prostitution who don’t work in window-prostitution. But then it has to be said that I compare statistics which were acquired by different methodologies. I assume that the Scharlaken Koord also contacted Dutch women who were still under the control of their pimp, whilst in the study of Vanwesenbeeck and Venicz those prostitutes didn’t cooperate. So the quarter of these prostitutes who were initially forced into prostitution could be in reality much higher, especially if you know that according to some sources probably most Dutch prostitutes are controlled by pimps (Essy van Dijk in “mensenhandel in Nederland”). So the comparisons between these statistics aren’t very useful.

Also in other studies prostitutes had been asked if they had been (or previously had been) forced into prostitution. Two of such studies are described in "Prostitutes' well-being and risk" by Ine Vanwesenbeeck (1994). In one of these two studies, the 'protective behavior'-study, 28,9% of 127 women were previously forced (see Appendix 5.11, page 207). In this study also many foreign women were interviewed, 16% came from other Western countries and 28% from non-Western countries (table 4.1, page 68). In the other study, the "coping and well-being"-study this percentage is 43,4% (see appendix 5.9, page 206). In the latter study only a few foreign women were interviewed, 10% were foreign, 3% came from non-western countries (table 4.1, page 68). In another study the interviewed prostitutes were also asked if they were forced: see Evaluatie opheffing bordeelverbod; de sociale positie van prostituees 2006 ["evaluation lifting the ban on brothels - the social positon of prostitutes 2006"]. Of the 354 prostitutes 8% indicated they had been forced into prostitution. Could this signal a drop in forced prostitution over the years?

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Can't stop!

Main

I don't know, I just can't stop doing it. Especially with the new attitude that I have.

I just visited another sex worker.

Do I feel guilty? No, the feeling of guilt that I am abusing a person is fading away. I don't worry anymore that the person that I have porn/sex with is trafficked or coerced, because I don't believe in that phenomenon anymore. I'm worrying more about my money. I wonder if it's just worth it. I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that sexuality, or pornography (as the two are actually the same thing because what people do in bed is directly derived from the porn films they see) is just so boring.

What do I like about visiting a sex worker? Actually, for me it's just the excitement to do something transgressive. That's what sexuality or pornography mean to me. I just wonder how people can have porn or sex with each other, without being aroused by the feeling of doing something naughty. Having sex every day must be really boring. When I am in a relationship, I think once every two months would be more than enough for me.

What I also like about visiting a sex worker is the contact that I can make with women that way. Something that in real life I rarely have. It's so nice just to talk to a woman, only if that only takes 15 minutes. The last woman I visited was very nice, it was very cool and a real honour to speak with her. She finds doggystyle the greatest position and she really liked my reproductive organ which wasn't too big nor too small, exactly the right size and beautifully shaped. That's a compliment.

What I also discovered about sexuality=pornography is that it is very difficult to have. The first problem is to get an erection, I regularly lose it during sex, so I often need breaks. The second thing is to get through all the motions. A simple position like the missionary position is a terrible pain in the ass and you'll need some good control over your body to perform this position. The third problem is the problem how to find out what the sexual boundaries are of the person you have sex/porn with. For instance, the last sex worker I visited didn't seem to appreciate my gentle touch of her vagina and she quickly receded, indicating that she didn't want that.

Although my current belief is that sex work (=porn work) is a noble profession, and a dignifying kind of work for young women, I do have to make a remark about the sex work place I visited. On the bar stood a price list (upright, encased in plastic, just like a menu in a restaurant), it read like this:

30 minutes - 80 Euro
45 minutes - 115 Euro
60 minutes - 150 Euro (remember, this is a very classy brothel)
Extra's:
blow job without condom - 35 Euro
anal - 50 Euro (I don't know the exact prices)

So, that must put an enormous pressure on the women to perform these tasks for these prices, even if they don't want to do that in the first place. I asked the sex worker about the price list and she sweared to me that she absolutely never performed blow jobs without protection, except on boyfriends. But the website of the sex work place said she did!!! And a review by a client reveals that actually she did perform a blow job without condom on him. That was really silly.

So, that was just a negative remark. For the rest, sex work is really cool.

What I should do, is just make a lot of female friends and talk with them a lot (because that's what I most long for), and don't go for sex or a relationship.

In the mean time, there's another sex work place that I have my eyes on......... :X

(more reports will follow)